iris . vkook

ninety six

"Oh my god, I'm a murderer, I'm a fucking murderer. I killed him."

That's all Taehyung had chanted since he'd woken up, pacing around. He tugged at his hair, trauma written over his face.

He'd felt Hoseok's body jolt as the bullet dug in and he'd felt the coldness run over his friend's skin. He'd felt Hoseok slip through his fingers like silk, crashing to the ground as weakness overpowered his mental ability to support himself.

He'd seen the blood slowly taint Hoseok's shirt, slowly taking over and concentrating the white with red like a flower blooming.

He'd seen and felt his best friend die.

He hated the fact that he didn't get to apologise to him, he hated the fact that he didn't get to smile at him one last time, he hated that he was the reason.

He never thought that his fiancé's work life would interfere with his personal life that much. 

Hell, he never thought that he'd kill someone. Especially not one of his friends. 

He wants to cry at the way Hoseok's personality was caring. Like when he'd had his sketch book ruined by Jong-in, and Hoseok asked (with no knowledge about art) of ways that he could help, offering ways to fix it. 

Jeongguk grabbed Taehyung and tried to ground him, since his eyes were widening and he was crying, but no tears were coming out. His breaths were more rapid and he was letting go of more air than he was breathing in. His heart was beating rapidly and it felt as though someone was grabbing his lungs, squeezing them and turning them into dust. His hands were shaking, and he couldn't feel his fingertips, he couldn't feel his body. Jeongguk could see that Taehyung's bottom lip was quivering, and that Taehyung's body was shaking.

Taehyung squirmed and wriggled in his grip, shouting and yelling at Jeongguk: originally bellowing at him to let him go, which soon transitioned into him shouting Hoseok's name and his confession of the crime he'd committed.

Jeongguk could feel Taehyung getting heavier, more weight leaning against his chest as Taehyung's grips and scratching on Jeongguk's arm were weakening, and the elder barely had any strength in him left to hold the younger's limb, nevermind himself.

Taehyung began to feel more lightheaded, his head feeling as though it was about to cave in. His eyes were rolling back, his lashes fluttering as choked exhales puffed out.

Jeongguk watched with sympathetic, concerned eyes as Taehyung passed out from shock.

----- T H E  N E X T  D A Y -----

Taehyung stared emotionlessly at the tea in his mug, steam rising and heating his face. Jeongguk tentatively stepped over, about to hold and comfort him.

"Don't touch me." Taehyung said, his voice strong and firm, lacking any waver.

Jeongguk sighed, "it's not your fault, petal."

"It is. I shoved him. I made him take the bullet. I'm a coward."

"I imagine that he's done much worse. Don't worry about it."

"Don't worry about it?! I'm a fucking murderer, Jeongguk, a murderer. I've taken someone else's life. I've taken a future, I've robbed someone of somebody. And sure, he might've been a dick, but aren't we all?"

Jeongguk held back a scoff, because Taehyung was, quite frankly, being a dick. He appreciated that Hoseok was his friend, but said friend had held him and others at gunpoint, had held him hostage and betrayed him.