Things ill Never Tell

Interview

#An interview with my husband

1. Do you love her?

Yes.

2. What do you think about you loving her?

It is a special thing, to love her, you know. I would have never expected to love her a few years ago.

3. Choose 3 things you love most about her.

(Long Pause) When she goes from being troublesome to being kind. When she is kind and tender, that's the best thing I've ever experienced. So I encourage her to be sweet to me as much as possible because....

(The interviewer interrupts): That wasn't the question.

No... I know sorry. And her eyes. If she didn't have her eyes, I wouldn't have married her. I love her eyes.

(Long pause). It's not because it's difficult to find something I love about her, but I have to choose the right things.

Her willingness to be good... That should have been in the first place.

4. What is your best memory of her?

(Long pause) It is probably, a total period of time, some days where we have not talked in a long time, then we got to talk again. That feeling of not have had her in a long time, and then she comes back. It starts with when she first asked me in which class we needed to be and then when we went out for the first time.

5. How did you fall in love with her?

I have no idea. I fell for her at the right time, I guess.

6. How does she hurt you?

Uhm... What causes her to hurt me or how she usually hurts me?
(The interviewer): Answer both.

Well, the answer to the first one is, if she admires other men than me. And the answer to the second one is that, as good as she is to be good, she is also good at being a rebel. But let's not talk about the past. What hurts me when it comes to her is... when she talks to me... (long pause.) When I try to help her, she gets defensive and behaves badly. Let me rephrase it.... What hurts me is; it's hard to help her without encountering resistance from her.

7. How do you hurt her?

By not being particularly sensitive.

8. Choose 3 ugly things about her.

As I said before when she doesn't accept my help. She makes me feel like I am walking all over her.

9. Have you had moments where you hated her?

Not while we've been together. Perhaps before I fell in love with her, but I never hated her enough that I could not love her again.

10. Is she the love of your life or your soul mate?

(The interviewer explains the difference between the two.)

She started out being the love of my life, but then ended up also being my soul mate.

11. How do you know you love her more than she loves you?

Because I see love in many ways. And she certainly sees love in a more romantic way than I do. But I know if something happened to her, I will react much more violent than she will react if, say, something happened to me. It does not matter if she runs around the world just so I would not get hurt, because I know I will do much more for her. I will do anything so no harm will ever touch her. In that sense, I love her more than she loves me. I love her more than anyone has ever loved anybody.

12. How did she change you?

(Long pause) Can I skip this question? She's has kick-started me to become a man, by giving me obligations that I had to fulfil, like nothing else.

13. What's the wildest thing you've done for her?

Introducing her to my family.

14. What's the wildest thing she has done for you?

She has forgiven me when I have told her things that were heartbreaking to her.

15. What do you think of her poems?

I am not so crazy about them. She knows I am a man who keeps everything private; within 4 walls. So it's ironic that she exposes our relationship to the public.

(The interviewer): Even the good poems about you?
Yes.

(The interviewer): Would you have appreciated them more if she wrote poems for your eyes only?

Yes, much more. I think about it often.

16. Is there a lot of differences between you two? And how?

Yes. Our goal is always the same, but out behavior to reach the goal is very different.... (long pause) We are different because we do not share the same taboos. We do not get embarrassed on the same topics. I mean, for example, she can talk about topics I am uncomfortable with.

(The interviewer): What do you think about that? Is that good?

Sometimes, it can be both a bad and a good thing. She has saved me many times because she is so brave and open-minded.

How many questions are left?

(The interviewer laughs).

17. When does she make you most happy?

When she does something religiously beautiful.

18. How do you forget she has hurt you?

I am forgetful.

19. When is she the easiest to love?

When she is tender.

20. When is she the hardest to love?

When she is demanding. When she wants things from me I cannot give her.

21. Does she love you?

Yes.