11/20/18-
I don't know how to feel. How to cope. The overwhelming feeling that I will never amount to anything or be good enough for anyone is consuming me. I have pushed people away since last night. He called me handsome. Cute. I said ew. Far from it. I told him I was sad earlier. Where was my love? Why did I just get a simple "okay?" Does he not care? I wouldn't care about me either. Maybe I do deserve this. I had the feeling to go up to my mother earlier. Tell her who I really am. I couldn't. So scared of her reaction. I wish she saw me how I am. Loved me how I am. Will she love me? Am I loved? Love is so fake nowadays. Not everyone but most, have the wrong mindset. Girls, are whores, looking for male attention and someone to "love" them. Boys, are assholes, seeking the will to get off and they're willing to fake being in love for it. Is there any true love around me? I highly doubt. Each relationship around me, is toxic. Doomed to end sooner or later. Will I be that way? Am I really damned because of my family, to never ever have a healthy relationship? Through everything he promises to love me. If only he knew everything, that love he has for me would be obliterated into nothing.
YOU ARE READING
in the life of luke.
Randomi am luke . trans ftm , closeted . these are my thoughts . my rants and vents about my dumbass family , relationships , and more . you don't have to bother reading . i just need to let it out somewhere . i don't want nor need anyone's pity . this bo...
