11/27/18-
Finals are three weeks away. Christmas break too soon. Too much time with my family and by myself. Too many thoughts alone, battles with my mind I'll have to face. Arguments, disputes, disagreements with my family. Faking being happy, too "happy" while I'm around them. I should be happy to have all that time off from school, but no. I'd much rather be at school, the gates of hell, than to actually be at home. Which is a living hell. My mother now has a job, working alongside my stepfather. Leave at 3 pm, return nearly at 12 am. I should be thankful for all the time I have "alone" but I have to babysit my siblings. There's 5 of us. I'm the oldest, so much pressure pushed and forced onto me. Never got the chance to enjoy my childhood. That was stolen away from me as was my innocence. Left bashed and battered into something barely manageable, I have at least helped keep this family together. I am the glue in my siblings. Without me they would cease to exist. And that's the unfortunate truth. Or maybe my 10 year old brother would keep things together if I went away. Or would he collapse under the pressure?
YOU ARE READING
in the life of luke.
Casualei am luke . trans ftm , closeted . these are my thoughts . my rants and vents about my dumbass family , relationships , and more . you don't have to bother reading . i just need to let it out somewhere . i don't want nor need anyone's pity . this bo...
