in the life of luke.

11/24/18

11/24/18-
Baby, babe, my love. My boyfriend. The little pet names that make me smile at how dorky he is. Higher & happier than ever. Don't wanna be sent crashing down. Not ever. Is it possible to stay up here, high in the clouds, happier than I've ever been, forever? Is it possible to be in love with someone forever? Will we ever have forever? Love him for as long as forever is to him. Promises of forever love. Is it puppy love? Merely in love with the thought of him and being loved? No. I see him as so much more. Perhaps he sees me in that way but I will enjoy us, him, as long as possible. Love him for him, flaws and all. His irritability, his health issues, his "meanness" as he says, his problem with being affectionate, his trust issues, his overprotectiveness. All makes up the him I'm so deeply in love with. Love him at his lowest. Is this true love? Do people my age grasp the ability to truly be in love? I've been thinking. About improving this "book." I want to add music. I'm open to anything and everything. I almost end up liking all music, excluding country. I will add a song in each chapter, you don't have to listen. It may not even go along with the chapter but I love showing people, opening up people's mind to other music. Anyway, I stood up late. Later than usual. With my boy. Each night a bit later, becoming soft for one another and loving each other mostly at night. Becoming so very open with our feelings. I have not loved in so long. Promised to never open up, pour out the contents of my heart, but I cannot help it. I'm so used to being mean, hiding the vulnerability behind a brick wall. It has crashed down, the feelings displayed so openly for everyone to see as if it's some art gallery. Come one, come all, see the real Luke. All thanks to him. How could I break my promise to myself? Sure to be hurt now. No going back now, gone too far down the path of being loved. Loving the feeling of feeling loved and cared for. No hope for me now.