Mixed(Jamilton story)

Chp.17

~Thomas's POV~

I gasp as I woke up ,shooting my head up and look around
It was just..me ,in a hospital room
Hunched over a bed as I look around to see it's the morning .
I'm not alone yet..
Oh god..ALEX!!
I quickly stand up and look to Alex's face,checking him as he's hooked up to so many machines
"A-al..Alex?"I say,I usually don't stutter but I'm worried
I last remember him..dying
I hesitantly set my hand on his cheek as I look over his features,those dark circles around his eyes,that light skin from being unhealthy for his size,but those few moles on his neck and one on his forehead along with that light brown -almost black hair when unwashed,laying around his face from the ponytail it has fallen from
I miss those bright green eyes of his..
They way there would shine when he's confident..
Oh god..I'm terrible..
He can't help but feel like crying once again..
I sniffle and cup his face gently in my hands as I move onto the bed ,just wanting to lean in and kiss those soft looking lips of his
I slowly set my forehead onto his and close my eyes
"Please..please don't be gone..I'll do everything we promised when writing on our arms..I'll make you feel special every day and night ,make you smile..like your the sun to the earth.."he crack at that one
Continuing to hold his face
I'd do anything to get him back,I'll do anything!ANYTHING!
"Thomas...?"a soft and broken voice says,I open my eyes widen and look to see those green eyes
Once like wild jungle emeralds that would light up any room yet look dark from how damage the holder has dropped them
"Alex.."I can't help but let the tears flow off my cheeks,down my jaw and neck in a cold uncomfortable feeling butt that's not important right now
He can't help but hide my face into his neck and hold him close
"Oh Alex..I'm so so so SO sorry.."he try whispering
I can tell he's shocked ,I can tell that he doesn't know how to react for a moment before breaking into his own tears,hugging me back with the little strength he has
"Oh Thomas..it's not your fault..I already know now.."I look up to see a small smile for a second as the tears closed my concern
I wipe his eyes and lean in to kiss his cheek but he flinched
I backed up a bit..I remember what happened and can't help but feel cautiousness
He sat up slowly with a lot of pained noises
I move off the end quickly and have him lay back down,holding his hand
"Shh Shh I'm sorry I-"he shakes his head and says
"You're fine..it's not you "he says looking up to me weakly
I can't help but feel that I have back that hope in his eyes of this world,without me maybe..maybe he'd be completely different
I wipe my eyes and smile softly down to him as I kneel to his level on the bed
"Are you Okay right now..?i can go get a nurse-"I say as if getting ready to make a run for it
He nods softly"my body..really hurts..please"he says
I nod and set a quick kiss on his hand before bolting out of the room to get a nearby nurse

But..what about that ..dream..?.
I'll just have to wait for it