I Saw Her

7th September, 2019

Dear Diary,

No, this is not at 4 am. This one starts at the set cause the morning was boring. Just me who started drinking after seeing the love of my life with another guy. Was I ever destined to have love? Should I turn into an arse like Swill? I was rich, I had a good heart. All that I lacked was beauty. Yes, I don't look good at all. And yes, I'm not good at anything except writing. Also don't forget the part that my leg is still healing after I was pushed in the train. I questioned myself if I was really straight? Or am I asexual? Well I guess this is the 6th entry in my journal. I've been drunk lately to fill the pages of my journal, so I'm going to tear them.

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Re: So it was a mistake trying to tear pages while I was drunk, because I tore this page too, so forgive me if you find this entry on the 31st of???? September??? I shouldn't have bought this thing for a pound. Jeez, this is the next worst thing after Swill eating crunchy food. Or did I tape the three and one accidentally? Oh, so as I was saying, it's been 5 days since shooting started. That too so quickly. Vdbskajsbd!;!"!hdbdn.

Re: Umm, just ignore that. This time I'm writing it sober. So well I went to the set, Sober that is. And well there they were standing, holding hands. There was no coffee shop except for LitBits. So I decided to take my chance. I approached her and I asked her, "So there's only a LitBits nearby, and I'm not sure how to order a coffee. Mind joining me? I'll pay." They both looked at me. She asked me, "Excuse me? Don't I remember you from somewhere?" Hobart released her hand and put a hand on my chest. "Hey you! Get out of this studio, you don't belong here at all. Here you can see a future Oscar winning actor, actress, director and all the other great guys. There's no place for a beggar like you here. Do you even know who I am? I'm filthy rich, richer than you. I look way better than you." He pushed me to the ground. I said nothing. I didn't want to create a scene, at least not more than what had been created. Swill spoke to me, "Oh come on, why are you disturbing the peace?" Liz came up to me, helped me get up and took me to the trailer.

As soon as I went inside, I threw a toaster across the trailer. "What the heck is his problem? It's my freaking movie and he thinks he has already become the greatest actor to ever step down on this planet. Doesn't he know that he has a job just because of me? If I was a director, I swear I would have fired him on the spot." Liz silently sat down on the sofa writing something in her notepad. She asked me, "What actually happened?" I punched the trailer a few more times and then I sat down across Liz. "What happened was that I love Sofia but that guy right there is always assaulting me." "Ummm, maybe you should cool down a little, I know he's wrong and you did nothing wrong, but there's him that has ego, and there's you who is good hearted.

Soon there was a knock on my door. I opened it to find Swill standing there. "So like, if there's going to be a commotion like this every week, I'm afraid I'll have to fire you. So well do you mind packing your things and leaving silently?" He left as I kicked the door hard and left the studio, showing a middle finger to everyone there. I could hear Hobart abusing me and threatening me. On my way, I heard many people say, "What a loser." I thought, maybe I shouldn't have left my house that morning. Oh did I mention? I bought a house, cause I thought, British cinema was going to be my future, focus on the 'was'. I walked out the studio with everyone against me. But Swill knew, and so did I. They need a great writer to pull this story off, and I could've been it. I guess now I was ready to see the movie sink badly. Even after this, I still loved Sofia.