I Saw Her

20th March, 2020

Dear Diary,

Oh boy! My script's done for the next film. Yay! Celebrations to everyone. And today's the premier of Blind man. In case you didn't know, that's my debut film as a writer, the one this diary is filled about. Oh shoot, I just spilled beer all over the carpet. Well I'm not concerned, it was a gift from Hamish from his village. Well for months I had been ignoring Sofia cause well you know why. In case you didn't know, she and I spent 1 passionate night together and then she got back together with her then ex. I still think about that passionate night every day. That night I didn't just have sex with her, we made passionate love. I can still feel the sparks between us from that night. I can still feel the pleasures she gave me and the pleasures I gave her. I can still hear her screaming my name Alex. Alas it was all taken away cause her stupid arsehole ex pushed me and put in the hospital. If I had just one chance to tell her and show her how much I loved her, I would've. But she would never love me, for the man I am, for the man I have become. I had everything except the looks. I gave out my heart, but she stomped on it. To this day when I see a photo of her, I can still feel the sexual tension and the love between us. It just felt like a love that never was able to blossom. I didn't want to make love with her, I just wanted to be with her.

I was getting ready. I liked to be plain instead of fancy, so I did what no other person did. I wore a simple t-shirt and jeans to the premier. How I looked didn't matter to me anymore. I never went into the premier thinking that I could win her back. Did I tell you that I still have a flask with me? Freak, I just spilled some more beer on the floor. RIP in peace for Hamish's carpet, which probably looks like deer skin? Wutttttt? So as I was saying, Swill promised us a party if people liked the film. I was still friends with Liz so well I would know someone. Shaun was there, but the problem was if he would be seen or not. Hahaha, every drunk person is racist for fun. Did I tell you that I carry around a revolver? Oh I do. People told me to carry around an AK-47, I was like, meh.

I get bullied around easily. I don't like to attack people. I don't say anything to anyone if they're mean to me cause I don't like being in the bad side of their opinions. I should change my thinking. Why am I still like this? Why do I keep getting pushed around and not do anything about it. Did I tell you that I got ready to leave? So I was wearing a plain t-shirt and jeans and went to the premier. I like being simple. So I took my bike and went to the cinema. I had no cameras taking photos of me. I call it simplicity level 100%.

Alright, so here's the backstory of it. The limos were for the actors and director. I was considered not being in the film. I had no fanfare as no one knew who I was or cared who I was. In the fight between me and Hobart, people loved him. Every person in this country was a fan of him and well when he says he hates me, the country hates me. He was already on route for his Oscar winning tour with Sofia throughout the country. I didn't see the photos so I didn't know how Sofia looked now.

I was halfway through the red carpet when I could hear photographs being clicked. I looked behind to see a limousine park right in front. Remind you, not a single drop of booze had entered my body that day. So well as I was saying, Hobart, as expected, came out of the limo first. He walked forward and posed for the cameras. Behind him came out a recognizable face. But the body wasn't recognizable at all. She had after all put on weight. She was 6 months pregnant. She still looked beautiful like she always did. Even the baby bump suited her, she looked that beautiful. I could already feel her silky hair flow down her back in her single ponytail. She was still as beautiful as the day we met. I couldn't even remember how beautiful she was. This all just brought regrets to me as to why I didn't have the courage to tell her. She probably just thought that night between her and me was just some one night stand and nothing more. She never did and would never know that I loved her more than anything. I loved her enough to let her leave and be happy with the one she loved.

Hobart kept walking ahead posing while Sofia walked behind him walking shyly. Hobart came up to me and pushed me to a security guard. What is with Hobart and the pushing? I never understood. Well sadly the security guard thought I was a rogue fan and threw me out of the block. He didn't even let me convince him that I was the writer and co-director of the film. I was a nobody in Hollywood. Even though I was the most important person of the film, no one knew me. I didn't care about that lifestyle though. The film started and I kept trying to enter for half an hour. I kept trying to call Hamish, Shaun or Swill, but they use a disgusting network which never connects them. Liz wasn't picking up her phone, but that was understandable as she was with her son and had her phone on mute. I just sat there in the corner waiting for someone to notice. Also, I was handed dollar bills. People thought I was homeless. I couldn't even refuse as they would give even more assuming I'm a simple beggar. Uh-Oh, help me.