The Ruthless Alpha

Epilogue

16 Year Later

As I stand here I think of all of the things that could have been done. I think about everything left unsaid or undone. All the time wasted in this. But, I also think of every good memory and happy moment. 

I think of every argument and every debate. Every shouting match, but every soft and intimate moment. 

"We are here today to mourn the loss of Alpha Asher Giovanni." 

I held back my sobs. I had to keep it together for the kids. Although they are all grown, I mustn't show them that there is a reason to worry about me. 

The minister went on and I stop listening. I couldn't.  As he talked about my late husband I couldn't believe it was real. 

I wanted him to open the casket and say 'surprise!', or someone to tell me this is just a cruel prank. But, I know that will never happen. 

I wish that he never left, he never got sick. He was supposed to be here when our kids had children and when we were old and sagging. I wish that we could still have that. 

The funeral ended and I stood still for hours and just watched them lower him into the grave. Everyone had already left, and I was now alone. I stood at the fresh grave with fresh tears in my eyes. 

I stood there for what felt like minutes, but in reality, it was probably hours. Liam came up to me and stood with me. And after what he thought was an appropriate amount of time, took me home. 

I have said nothing in three days. I haven't eaten in two. And haven't slept in a week. I know I have to start taking better care of myself, but I don't want to without him. I want to do everything and anything with him, my moon.

My daughter was the same. Although not as bad as me, she and her dad had a really special bond and his death was taking a hard toll on her. Thankfully, she has her mate and he is taking very good care of her. 

Liam is just as devastated as the rest of us, but he has to run the pack. 

Oh, my love, come back to me-to us, your family. 

I stood from the dinner table and excused myself to go to my room. I moved rooms soon after he died, I couldn't stand the pain it caused. I took one shirt and have made it last. His scent helps relax me more. 

As soon as I shut the door I locked it and slid down to the floor. I didn't force anything back at that moment. 

I screamed, I cursed, and I cried. I cried so hard for so long. I cried until I had no more tears until I was gagging. I went to the toilet and dry heaved. My stomach was bare due to not eating and the more I cried the more I felt like throwing up.

But, I will survive. I have to pick myself up and dust myself off until I can function.

1 year later

Dear Journal, 

I know that my grandmother did this, and I would like to keep the habit alive. Mom just died. She held on as long as she could, but we all knew as soon as dad died she would soon follow. I am sad, but she is in a better place now. 

The rest of us are trying to get on with life, as we know they would want. 

 Until next time,

Liam Giovanni