halo 'n horns [klance au]

28. Angelic

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Lance

I don't know why I was crying. It was stupid, really. Just me overreacting as usual. But I wasn't going to just lie to myself and say that what Keith had said hadn't hurt. "Just stay on your side of the bed," he'd said, face unfeeling.

And, with those words that he'd said, I realized that everything that I thought was true about him was fabricated. I don't know why I thought that maybe, somewhere deep down in his heart, he cared about me. But, of course, he didn't. Of course, he could never care about me, love me, whatever it was that was between us.

Because he was a devil and I was an angel. And I could love him all I wanted but he'd never really love me back. He wasn't able to. So I was resigned to just loving him from afar.

I was sitting on the pillows by the balcony, a bottle of wine beside me on the floor. I was already drunk, but I liked the taste of it and I already felt sad. My wings were out and wrapped around my shoulders, but I still felt cold and alone. 

Mother used to tell me about the different types of love. She'd tell me that we, as angels, loved everything. But that it was categorized. 8 types of love: Erotic, Affectionate, Familiar, Playful, Obsessive, Enduring, Self, and Selfless.

I don't know which loves I felt for Keith, but I knew that it was something more than the angelic love. I wanted to hold him, protect him, forgive him and accept him. I didn't care that he was a devil.

Rubbing my eyes, I asked myself how I'd gotten into this mess. It'd all started back in that tiny town on the East Coast. I'd been sent up there to find Keith and had been walking on the sidewalk when I noticed a figure about to step out into the road. They hadn't seemed to notice the car racing towards them.

Acting on impulse, I'd lunged forward and caught their collar, yanking them back before they were hit. They'd whirled, eyes wide with annoyance and surprise.

"Do you have a death wish? There's a crosswalk for a reason," I'd said, then realized that he was the exact devil I was looking for. I knew from his eyes. They were unlike anything I'd ever seen- dark and full of knowledge. Immediately, I'd reached out for his aura, feeling the silky blackness slide over my skin. It was nearly suffocating but I was so excited to have found him that I didn't care.

Now, I reached out to Keith's aura again. Under the layers of sleep and frustration, I felt the same smoothness that had been there so many weeks before. Was it just me, though, or was it lighter, somehow? 

Maybe it was just his prolonged stay in the Midworld. 

Sniffling, I looked out at the city of Kyoto, wondering if tomorrow would be our last day together. Would Keith just be pulled down into the depths of the Earth when we finished the final task? Would I have to bring him down there myself? That was impossible- only mortals and devils could enter the Underworld.

And then what? I'd return to the Upperworld with Mom and Matt and Adam. Somehow, that didn't seem like it was enough. Did I actually belong anywhere?

The tears started again. Maybe not.

I was trying to be as quiet as I could, but Keith was, unfortunately, a light sleeper. I heard him shift in the blankets in the bed and I hastily wiped my tears, sniffing loudly to try and clear my sinuses.

"Halohead?" Keith grumbled. I didn't turn. 

"Yeah? I'm good, don't worry. Go back to bed."

Keith grunted. I waited for a few seconds, hopeful that he'd listen to me, but after a moment, I heard the sheets being thrown back and Keith padding across the carpet towards me. He sat next to me on a pillow, rubbing his eyes.