halo 'n horns [klance au]

29. Melancholy Morning

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Keith

Dad once told me what his first memory was. He'd explained a warmth, intense and radiating, and that he could literally feel himself being pieced together like a puzzle. He was born in the core of the Earth, just as Missus was born in the clouds above.

I'd never asked if the warmth was pleasant. I'd never asked about his memories- my father was a man who lived in the day and didn't look back on the past. He'd told me countless times: "The past is for the mourners. And we are the kings of the mourners, Keith, so just look forward."

But, I now know what my interpretation of that warmth is. It's Lance's body against mine as he sleeps. It's his soft lips and sweet eyes and calm breath on my ear, his long fingers in my hair and his spinning halo.

I could bask in this light for centuries. I could relish in Lance's warmth for eternity, just the two of us, I swear. He was intoxicating.

And yet, at the same time, I felt a deep pain in my chest every time I touched him. Half of me wanted more while the other half begged me to stop. My father's words echoed in my head the whole night I slept beside Lance, over and over again, him telling me that I was incapable of love.

I knew that, on some level, that was true. This wasn't natural. I felt like caving in and exploding at the same time, my non-existent heart both yearning for Lance's touch and recoiling from it.

My night was sleepless, but I stayed beside my angel the whole time, feeling his breath against my chest as I curled around him, keeping him safe from everything ugly. I would stay with this beautiful boy even if I died trying.

...

Lance woke up around 8, which was usual for him, but instead of getting up out of bed, he turned from his side onto his back to face me. Yawning, he smiled up at me sleepily.

"Morning, sleeping beauty," I murmured.

He blinked slowly. "Did last night actually happen?" he asked.

I tilted my head to the side. "Did we actually kiss?"

Lance nodded, a smile slowly forming on his lips. In response, I lightly kissed the tip of his nose. "You tell me."

Sliding out of bed, I walked over to the balcony. Lance's bottle of wine still stood by the pillows, cork beside it on the floor. I stepped over the pillows and flung open the curtains, letting the sunlight wash over the room.

Lance sat up in bed, his halo shining in the morning light, and sighed deeply. "We've got one thing on the agenda today," he informed me as he slipped out of bed, heading over to the coffee maker.

"And what is that?" I asked him, looking down and over the city that was splayed beneath our hotel room.

Lance winked at me. "Still a secret."

I groaned, rolling my eyes. "You and your secrets, Halohead," I muttered, heading to the bathroom to shower.

I knew that today would be our last day together. I hadn't told Lance, but I was beginning to feel my Energy return to me. Honestly, I was surprised that he hadn't noticed my steadily darkening aura. If it kept going on like this, I was sure that I'd be able to have enough Energy to return home at the end of the day.

Not that I wanted to, though. Why did this have to happen so late? Why hadn't I kissed him as soon as I'd met him? These thoughts and more followed me into the shower.

Looking down at my body, pale and sinewy, I wondered what Lance saw in me. He was an angel, for Mistress' sake. What did he see in me?

Then again, though, what did I see in him?

Loyal. Kind. Humorous and easy-going. Sweet. Calm. Beautiful.

He was absolutely stunning.

It made the thought of leaving him almost too much to bear.

...

Lance and I ended up drinking our coffee out on the balcony, sipping the strong drink from tiny teacups, the early morning air floating over our skin. Lance was looking out over the city with an interesting expression- curious and intrigued, but I just looked at him.

I looked at my watch. "What time should we leave?"

Lance shrugged. "Whenever you want. It's open all day, but it will probably get a little more busy in the afternoon." He paused. "This is your last day, Keith."

I looked away. That was right. Lance could visit the Midworld whenever he wanted- I was the one who was going to be stuck underground for the rest of my life.

So, selfishly, I let us lounge in the hotel room for another hour, kissing Lance's neck and face, channel-surfing, packing up our things. I decided to bring everything I now owned in a backpack with me- I didn't know if I'd have time to come back here to get it after we finished our day at Lance's chosen location.

Lance watched with big, sad eyes as I packed away my belongings. A poppy pressed in the pages of a travel book. My ticket from the Gorillaz concert. My knife from the SAL. A tiny bottle of black sand from the shores of Samoa. I wondered what my keepsake from this location would be. Maybe it was the memory of Lance's lips.

Lance periodically started to ask questions, but never finished them, like, "What if I-?" or "Can you-?"

I knew what he was trying to do: somehow divert the inevitability of my departure. But my father had been clear. Once I was done, I was to return home. Maybe, in a few thousand years, I would become the next King of the Underworld.

I had responsibilites to my home just as I had responsibilities to my heart, and the battle against each other was ripping at my soul. I didn't want to have to chose between Lance and Dad, happiness and power, love and loneliness.

I was too young to be making these decisions. Too inexperienced. I knew that my father would know what to do, but I also knew that my father had given up everything for his position now. He'd given up Missus, his whole life, and any chance of happiness and love. And he was suffering.

But at the same time, I couldn't just abandon him and the Twins and the Blade. My duties as the Dark Prince were set in stone with no replacement.

So my situation was futile. It was bad either way. I just had to choose the lesser of two evils.

...

hey guys :) i'm sorry this update took a while- last week in school was one of the most stressful weeks i've had this year. I've been hella busy with school, practice, christmas, and what seems like everything else in the world haha

but the update is here just in time for christmas, and i have a few gifts for you:

1. I'm already beginning to plan my next fic. I'm not sure what ship it's going to be, but, hopefully, I'll be able to stick with my boys Keithy and Lonce for another fic

2. Slowly but surely, I'm beginning stages to rewrite Beat Drop. this is really big for me- Beat Drop has been one of the best things that's ever happened to me, and rewriting it means renewing those friendships and renewing those memories of countless nights in front of my computer, planning those first few chapters and so on. it means a lot to me

3. You will get your reunion between the Twins and the angels soon :)

qotd: favorite thing about the holiday season?

I love you!! Merry Christmas and happy new year (: