Resist

13

I had a new spring in my step as I left the infirmary, heading down the hall to go find someone to share the good news with. Should it be Sicily and Nessa, or Jack? I knew that Sicily and Nessa would be in the kitchens at this time while I had no idea where Jack was so I decided on telling the girls, not wanting to wait too long to share.

"Nessa!" I called as soon as I walked through the swinging door to the hot kitchens. I could see her dark hair plaited down her back as she stood over a stove.

"Essie, fancy seeing you back in the kitchens, I thought you'd been scared off for good," she said, her energetic voice easily reaching my ears over the clatter of the kitchen workers around us.

"Well I'm not back to help," I informed her, "I just couldn't wait to tell someone: I can start training tomorrow!"

"Wow Essie, that's awesome!" Her words should have held happiness but they were flat, lifeless. She was being unenthusiastic about the news.

"What's wrong with that?" I asked her, sensing disapproval.

"Well it's just that...women don't fight, we let the men and boys do that, they go do the dangeorus stuff and we just keep the place running. You should really work in the kitchens, figure out how to cook here where it's much safer."

I couldn't believe her. Those words had not just left her mouth.

"Ness, that's not how it works. Before Xavier, women were working as guards at the castle and doing laborious work and no one batted an eye, people could work as whatever they wanted!" It was true, the world before Xavier had provided boundless opportunities for both sexes to pursue whatever career they wanted.

"But that was when things were peaceful," Nessa said as though she was explaining this to a small child. "Now there is real danger and the dress up and role playing is over. Just let the men do the dangerous stuff they should be handling and be a women and work at the things we can do."

"Are you suggesting that women are only good for cooking and sewing?"

"No but that's what we can do here to be helpful."

"So me going on raids wouldn't be helpful?"

"I don't know, I've never seen you fight or anything but a man would probably be more helpful to The Recovery."

I couldn't believe her right now, I was livid. I was not going to be stuck inside this hotel for, perhaps, the rest of my life making beef stew. I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.

"I just don't want you to get hurt and, as a friend, I am telling you that you should join the other women here in the kitchen," Nessa dared continue.

"I don't have time for this," I snapped, spinning on my heel and heading back out the door through which I had come. It swung shut behind me as I strode across the dining hall and out into the corridor. I looked right and left down the long passage lit by gas lights before going right, towards the lobby. I needed to just get away for a bit and it was the only place I could think to go.

When my boots hit the marble floors beneath the vaulted ceilings and grand chandelier, I stopped my persistent and heavily footed march of frustration. The sudden silence caught me off guard and I just stood, collecting my venomously spewing thoughts for a moment.

With a heavy sigh, I unfolded my wings, happy at the wonderful stretch upon their unraveling, and let them flow behind me as I strode across the room, coming to stop in the shadows beyond the sunlight from the windows above.

I zoned out, eyes glazing over, as I went over the conversation with Nessa again in my head. Why was she so dead set on me not fighting? What was her logic behind that? Perhaps there isn't any females who choose to fight in The Recovery but that doesn't mean there couldn't be and Gavin already said he was fine with me participating in raids. I breathed a long breath out of my nose as I closed my eyes, trying to let my frustration go, knowing I was perhaps over reacting.

A footstep sounded on the marble, like a gunshot in the silence of the lobby and my eyes snapped open, my head slowly turning to see who had entered the space. My mind immediately jumped to a curly haired boy and so I was disappointed to see Eden, her light hair shining in the light from the high windows.

"I heard you rush past the infirmary," she told me, explaining her presence before I could even ask. "I thought you would be headed here, you seem to have a liking for the foyer."

I nodded slightly, it was true, I have a connection to this vaulted room and it really isn't about the room, but I didn't voice this other thought.

"Why don't you come back to the infirmary with me and hang out for a bit?" Eden asked me, obviously knowing I was upset about something and not wanting me to brood alone in this echoing room.

"That's probably a good idea," I told her, striding back to her. When I was even, she turned and we walked together back to her work space.

"So I'm just frustrated that this is the view I am being given in wanting to fight and take action," I finished, informing Eden of why my sour mood existed.

"Well, as you know, my duty here is something delegated more to women, but I see no problem with you participating in raids or defending this society. Neither does Gavin apparently, he has already given you the go-ahead to join the boys and I see no reason why you should not!"

Eden was encouraging and just chatting for a few minutes about what Nessa had said made me feel better. Just as I was about to thank her for her encouragement, the door clicked open and a small blonde toddled in, followed by Eden's auburn haired other half, Tom.

"Anna sweetie!" Eden cooed, sweeping the little girl up into her arms, a loving smile on her face. Tom followed behind, smiling at his two girls. He glanced at me, giving a polite nod, before turning back to Eden.

"I'll be down the hall hammering away for the rest of the day," he told her. "See you later sweetie," he crooned to Anna, dipping his head to be at her level in Eden's arms. I watched this sweet exchange between the family and a pain began in my heart, an aching for my brothers and parents. I missed them everyday more and more.

Tom left and Eden set down Anna who immediately toddled over to me, staring up at me with wide eyes. "Hey Anna," I told her. She had met me once before in the in the infirmary but I was unsure if she remembered. "I'm Essie."

“Es-ee," she repeated, turning to look at her mother. "Essie," she said again, my name more put-together this time.

The little girl walked away and I returned to the work I'd been helping Eden with as we talked, cutting some bandages into long strips for. They worked a lot better for binding the kinds of cuts and scrapes those who went on raids acquired. My heart skipped a beat when Anna's squeaky voice spoke again.

"Jack."

I looked up to see the dark winged boy standing by the doors, reaching down to scoop little Anna into his arms, her white wings fluttering with joy as he lifted her.

He held the child on his hip as though accustomed to doing so, much more than I would have thought, and that's when he saw me.

His jade eyes opened wide, surprise over taking his every feature. "Oh hey Essie," he spoke, hastily putting Anna down. She made a noise in protest but he didn't seem to hear her. I didn't know why he was acting strange.

"Hey Jack," he replied, setting down my scissors and leaving the bandage strips on the table. "What are you doing here? Need something?" I offered. I had come quite accustomed with the infirmary at this point and if he needed anything I could probably find it.

I heard Eden cough in the corner, one intended to draw intention and not to clear her throat, and Jackson shot her a look to kill. I really did not understand what was going on here. 

"No, I was just leaving," he rushed, turning on his heel and slipping back out the door, Anna pouting on the floor where he had set her down.

"What was that?" I asked Eden, turning around to look at her,

"That's just Jackson for you," she said, a small laugh in her voice. I could tell she was found of him from her words but also found his actions moments before to be quite silly. I was so confused.