Resist

37

The strategists left Gavin’s office for dinner, traipsing into the dining hall with solemn, worn looks on their faces that only made my heart sink. I tried to make eye contact with Tucker first and then Will but neither looked my way as they sat down with trays of food. This could not be good. With them the four boys brought a rain cloud to our table. Jack had been close with each of them too, like brothers, and we all felt the empty seat he should of occupied like an elephant in the room. It was across from me, people accustomed to having Jack and I sit near one another and so automatically leaving the seat untouched. 

I tried to not look straight up at it, instead turning my head to watch Will who sat kitty corner. He was running a spoon through the meager soup, eyes downcast and shoulders slumped. “Will.” His head twitched in my direction, he had heard me, but was ignoring me. “Will!” I hissed, more authority in my voice. He sighed heavily and met my eyes, his hair messily across his forehead and a deep sadness within the blue of his eyes that caused my breath to catch in my throat. It was utterly obvious they didn’t have anything close to a plan devised; his misery could not stem from anywhere else. “You guys have to have something, anything,” I begged him. I was trying to keep my voice down, not drawing attention to the two of us as we drowned within the situation. 

“Essie, we’ve been brainstorming for two days and everything is too uncertain. Right now, we still haven’t figured out how close we can even get to the castle before Xavier would send a swarm of guards. We also have no clue how many he has, it seems his numbers are endless. We’ve been killing them for years when we raid and yet we have never seen a decline in numbers.”

He was defeated, his voice saying those words but telling me that he was giving up. “Will please, there has to be something, some dare devil idea someone threw out that is worth a try.”

“We think we could get one person in by causing distractions, create chaos around the city and draw out the guards, but getting Jack out would be impossible then. If he needs help, one person can’t get him through the castle and we have no idea where he is inside so we’d have to keep the Xave occupied for possibly hours. That’d be impossible.”

We’d both abandoned our soup now, my raging appetite from training suddenly gone as reality set in. “So there’s nothing, no solid plan at all?” My voice was like stone, coming out much meaner than I had intended. 

He didn’t even shake his head, just kept looking at me with those deep blue eyes so full of sadness. And then he let his head drop, focus back on slowly stirring his soup he was not going to eat. 

My chair shrieked against the floor as I pushed it back abruptly. Heads turned, the noise startling some people, but I didn’t care. I rushed from the room, the heavy wood doors swinging shut behind me, cutting off the clinking dishes and chatter of the hall which had grown with my swift departure. 

I was fighting between more anger or sadness, tears pricking my eyes and my hands balled into fists at my sides. My breathing was harsh, deep breaths as I tried to keep myself together.

After a few minutes, the door swung open behind me, someone coming out and standing over my shoulder, hovering and unsure. “Essie…” It was Will, his voice soft and careful. “Essie I am so, so sorry. I want him back as much as you, he’s my best mate, my brother. He’s saved me so many times and you don’t know what it feels like now to be unable to save him. I’m betraying Jack, abandoning him, and I can’t do anything about it. We’ve wracked our brains but Xavier has this city in such a tight hold. I want to drive my sword through his heart, skewer it on my blade and pull it out of him for this. We’re all upset, we’re all angry, we’re all sad.” His voice choked towards the end and I turned. His jaw was clenched tightly, trying not to cry.