What do you do when you no longer know the diffrents between right or wrong what do you do when you are so far down on the bottom of the dark ground that you cant come up, what side will you chose when the wor of your right to live starts.
I really have no idea cuz on the way i lost myself on the way to find myself and i lost me even more
i lost brian i lost my sis in the end i got nothing left.
now im standing on the dark ground were i cant see i cant find a way upp to the light i see it on far distanse and i am constantly hunted by my demons that are screaming laughing and makeing fun of me.
where do anyone like me find a place to be where i can be me i have really no idea on that either i have stopped thinking i lost all my hopes and dreams im not an angel in the sky anymore now i am an wingcut angel with wings black as the world i live in.
the voices of my demons grows stronger and gets more in to me for everyday that pass i lost every conection of the reality mabe i will never be able to find me, mabe i will never be able to recover.
Insteed of thinking on my prblems i trying to help ppl with there problems so they dont end up like mostly i do it cuz i cant be saved from the dark, and now sudently i got even more depressed when ppl say things to make you happy then trough it in ur face someone how know the feeling? yeah someone did good then i arent alone.
right now im sitting and singing to Bless the broken road by rascal flatts some way it helps me when i am depressed it helps me close out the real life so i can walk around in my on world.
Ive got some responses on this story some are good some are bad one of the responses were that i was selfis so answer to you how said that, i dident force anyone to read this at all its just my way to get all out of me so i dont have it inside and do something wors then i all ready have.
So you dont have to read anymore of i and let the ppl how likes it and mabe even think it helps them with there probs read.
And to another dude how commeted this Brian and Haley lft me for difreent reasons Brian got a girlfriend and i am happy for him they moved pretty far away from me and that was there choise not mine brian will always have something but not like it was.
Haley got a jobb far away and just couldent see me destroyng me so much as i did as i still do and went in on rehab for the third time so thats the answers on that.
I still cut when i feel really depressed and i almost dont eat anymore cuz my anorexia is getting wors again it feels like a sipp of water gonna make me fat the smell of food is makeing me feel sick i just wanna be a normal kid again the one how had fun all the time never cried hangd with friends just doing normal stuff.
i got fall backs in the drugs sometimes i get so high i cant even find my way home but i still happy that i dont insteed of going home and be beaten upp by my dad man that psycko i never get rid off i will be forever hes slave i wont be a angel how can fly anymore i will for always be the wing cut angel troturd to walk a lonely road on earth.
anyway i got home 2 days ago after beeing in town i took 2 steps in the hallway and i heard him scream and i were thinking in my head " plzz make him hit me hard and fast and not a whole day cuz i cant take it today" i were keep reapting that in my head all the time
Dad- Were the fuck have you been?!
Me- I have been out hanging in town :/
Dad- oh so you gonna become crackwhore like your mum ha? no i dont think so you gonna be home here searv me the rest of your life like she would if she dident leave!
He was hiting me on the side of my ribs and on my face 2 times
all i could stand there and hold my tears back im not gonna show him how weak i really am cuz i mabe sound all strong but if you hit me i will start to cry and tears are the words a broken heart is to broken to say.
when i was done i rund upp on my room to cry i layd down in my bed crying in my pillow so my dad cant hear me, i sitting upp in the bed walking of it buld out a box from my bed took the knive up cuted my arms ang legs up it was so freeing to see the red dropps of blood sipp down my arms.
I feel how wierd i feel i passed out for the reast of the day.
You die I die
I'll be by your side every day
Every time the sun shines
Each time the sky makes you freeze
Should I be for you
As you are to me
Do not ever let yourself get stuck
Just because of others
Smile and say I do not give a fuck
It goodwill always be people out there who goodwill bring you down
You mostly never know why
But it Can Be Because You users to ask your own
So stand up for yourself, even if it makes you cry
When everything is falling
Are you buried under
When everything is built up
found to
You try to get it back that collapsed
And while healing yourself from the weight
It takes a while
But you do not give up
You get to finish everything up again
You are happy
You are healed from the painful
But deep down, you
A fear that it will collapse again
And you will die during this time
But nothing happens
Life goes on.
YOU ARE READING
My Story
De TodoHey guys this is the story of me were you can see me go from the bad life to the better. The names in this story are changed but the things in it is real and this is the first time i do something like this. and sorry for the bad spelling i aren´t en...
