T. R. F. A. P. A. T. H. W. T. G.

Chapter 16: The Chilly Boys

Cabs picked up a large block of ice and loaded it onto his sled. A lanky, olive-skinned being with oversized, deep black eyes and a humanoid Siberian husky assisted him.

Humanoid Husky: "Bossman, someone's coming."

Cabs: "Stand down, guys."

Cabs stepped forward to meet Richard.

Richard: "Cabs."

Cabs: "Richard."

Richard: "We need to talk."

Cabs: "About?"

Richard: "I'll tell you if we can go to a more private area."

The dog and the lanky one approached.

Richard: "Can I help you, sirs?"

Lanky One: "Why do you want to talk to the bossman alone? Is this a gay thing?"

Richard: "Okay, one, that's homophobic. Two, no. This is serious business and I need to talk to your 'bossman'."

Lanky One: "Really? You're not trying to buttfuck the bossman, are you?"

Richard: "What?"

The lanky one threw a roundhouse kick at Richard, sending him flying. Richard turned into his full steel form.

Lanky One: "No one gets that ass, but me!"

Richard: "Man, what the fuck are you talking about?"

Richard tossed his opponent to the ground after catching a second kick. The lanky one simply screeched at Richard so loud that his glass scars began to crack. Richard began pummeling his bulbous head.

Cabs: "Ludo, stand down!"

Ludo: "Reeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Richard: "What the fu-"

The lanky one spanked Richard with considerable force; it left an imprint on his steel ass. Ludo lunged to further assault Richard. Before any serious damage could be inflicted, Cabs grabbed the Ludo's thin torso and threw him to the ground. He roared loudly at him.

Cabs: "Stand down!"

Ludo looked down as Cabs helped up the steel man.

Soon, the four sat around a bonfire near a hut. Two others joined them. They were eating disgusting porridge.

Richard: "So, who are your new friends?"

Cabs: "The green, skinny guy is Ludo. The husky is Peludo. The winged guy is Archeus. The cool dude is Norman."

Archeus, Peludo, and Norman bowed slightly to Richard. Ludo rubbed his forehead, sneering at Richard.

Richard: "They're warriors?"

Cabs: "Not just warriors; they're gods."

Richard: "What?"

Cabs: "Now, calm down, Richard. Norman's really good at karaoke."

Richard: "No, you allied yourself with gods?"

Peludo: "We're human sympathizers, you racist."

Archeus: "Peludo, please desist. Ludo is stressed."

Ludo: "I'm not stressed, Archie. My skull is fractured."

Cabs: "You see, Ludo is the god of autism, Archeus is the god of flight, and Peludo is the god of furries."

Richard: "Awesome. You have a team of outcasts."

Norman: "Well, that's rude."

Everyone, but Richard and Norman: "Norman, shut up."

Cabs: "What's this about, Richard?"

Richard: "I need your help. I want to kill the big snowman."

Peludo: "You're insane, mijo. No one can kill Frosty."

Cabs: "Peludo, let him speak. I want to hear him out."

Richard: "Cabs, when we were mortals, we hunted...monsters."

Richard darted his eyes at the gods.

Cabs: "They know, Richard. They know of our past and believe it or not, they approve."

Richard: "Oh, thank God."

Norman: "That's funny!"

Everyone, but Richard and Norman: "Shut up, Norman."

Cabs: "Ludo was outcasted for his raging homosexuality, Peludo was noted as a disgrace among them, and Archeus was banished to Earth for his studies on the flying machines that humans made once."

Archeus: "Save the niceties of my exile, Cabs. They broke my wings. There isn't much else to tell."

Richard: "The point is we never let the unstoppable stop us. We faced off against Nogu and he pussied out of killing us."

The gods widened their eyes at Cabs.

Archeus: "Nogu? The fallen one?"

Cabs: "Yes, Nogu."

Richard: "We can do this, Cabs. We just need to work together."

Cabs: "But why me, Richard? You clearly still have contempt for me."

Richard: "You're sufficiently powerful and stupid enough to help me."

Cabs: "Come on, you know the answer I'm looking for."

Richard: "We made a good team at some point in time."

Cabs: "I'm just tickling your balls. We have the same plan and we could use your help."

Richard: "Please, never use that expression again."

Cabs got up and gestured Richard to follow him into their hut; leading him to a table.

Richard: "What the hell? Is that what I think it is?"

Cabs: "Yep."

A large, unstable lightning bolt rested on the table. Electricity radiated off of it. It was a weapon to behold.

Cabs: "This took centuries to forge and all from Archeus's memories from his work with Zeus, the god of lightning. When the time comes, I will wield it against the snowman."

Richard: "Can I get one?"

Cabs: "No. Your conductive nature wouldn't benefit us, especially since this is a prototype."

Richard: "Prototype?"

Cabs: "Yes, we're still not done. In fact, we could use some help getting materials."

Richard: "So, you're going to send me on a boring quest and not even let me touch it once."

Cabs: "Yes."

Richard: "Well, this is epic."