LIFE WAS BETTER OFF THE GRID || 1

Agent The Big Purple Dinosaur

I sat on the island of the kitchen crisscross in the dark, watching the sun come up, while drinking coffee.

I hear footsteps coming my way. "What. The. Hell." I hear Stark say. "Why. Are. You. Drinking. My coffee. From. The Pot. In the. Dark,"

"Because I can." I hear more footsteps and the lights come on. "Ah. I see you still have your habits." I turn to look at Clint. "This is your fault. You're the one that always drank from the pot. You and Barne-" Clint covers my mouth with his hand. I send him a glare and I lick his hand. He immediately takes his hand away and wipes it on his pajama pants , and, he too, send a glare.

"You could've just told me that the buddies don't know about The Big Purple Dinosaur." I say innocently and take a sip of the coffee.

"Who's the big purple dinosaur?" Bruce asks walking in. "Wait. Don't tell me. I don't wanna know."

"Big Purple Dino is Pigeonfart's older-" I smack Clint's hand. "Ave. Stop talking."

"Fine. Fine. But if you get to hang out with my sibling, I get to hang out with yours." I move my hands in ASL. He rolls his eyes and takes the pot before taking his own swig. I take it back from him and take a swig. We continue like this for two minutes with Tony and Bruce watching us uncomfortably.

"So are you two together or something?"

That's all it takes and I spit the coffee on Clint's face. I hop off from the island. "Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew." I say over and over again. "That. Is like saying Maria and Fury are together."

"They would make a cute couple." My eyes widen. "Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew."

"What is wrong with that?" Stark asks. Clint is wiping the coffee-spit from his face. "In S.H.I.E.L.D. we have a sort of family." He says. "INCEST!" I yell. "Though 'Delphia and June would be good together." I say in a soft tone. "Ave, firstly, we just went to his funeral and secondly why would May remarry after Andrew?"

"I don't know life finds a way and May is unpredictable after Bahrain. I had to call Drew to find out they had divorced."

"WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?" Tony yells.

"What are you yelling about?" Nat asks walking in. "He doesn't know what Clint and Avianne are talking about." Bruce informs. "And what are you talking about?" She turns her attention to us. "How great Phil and May would be together." Clint and I say in sync.

"But-"

"Yes I know that Phil is dead, the Anti-Depressants by my sink remind me." Everyone is quiet. Nat looks down and Clint looks shocked. "Oh don't give me that look, Clint." I say in Russian, knowing the only Nat and Clint would understand what I'm saying. "And I am so telling your Wife that Stark tough we were a couple."

And with that, I left the room.

~

I had a lot of pent of up rage that I needed to let out. "JARVIS?" I call out.

"Yes Agent Found?" I smile. He remembered.

"Where is the gym?"

"On floor 42 go down the hallway to the right and it's the second door on your left." The AI tells me. "Thanks JARVIS."

I follow JARVIS's directions to the gym. I open the double doors to find that the gym is unoccupied. Yay! I walk over to a punching bag. I don't even wrap my hands, not giving a damn. Though I probably would later.

I punch twice. Then three times. I add a kick in there to. I'm then lost in my own little world where the only thing that matters is murdering this punching bag. Yes, I know that I can't murder the punching bag. Stop bugging me with logic right now.

"Your hands are bleeding."

Out of pure instinct and kick the owner of the voice in the side.

"Well hello to you too." I then notice that it's Steve. "Oh God, Steve I'm sorry." I apologize. "No it's fine. I should be apologizing, I'm the one that startled you." He eyes my hands. "You should have Dr. Banner have a look at those." I let out a small laugh. "He's not that kind of Doctor." I tell him. "May I ask why you were beating the punching bag like you had a score to settle?" I avert my eyes from Steve. My blood on the bag is very interesting. "Says the man that punched the bag off the chain when I first met him." I look back up at him.

"Just letting out some steam."

"Stark?" I crack a Smile that was mildly forced. "Little bit. With everything this happened in the last two weeks, Fury calling me in saying Clint's compromised, reuniting with Natasha, Loki, New York." I trail. "I went to Coulson's funeral yesterday." Steve got a sympathetic look. "Nope. Don't give me that face. I already get it enough from Nat and Clint, I don't need it from you."

"I'm so-"

"Don't apologize." He opens his mouth again. "And don't apologize for apologizing." He looks flustered. "How long have you known Natasha?" He says, changing the subject. "For about," I pause looking at the date on my phone. "25 years and 8 months not including the nine months we spent together in the womb." He's jaw is open slightly. "You're twins?"

"Yep. Identical twins. Yes, identical. Just because I dyed my hair and wear colored contacts, doesn't mean we aren't identical." We fall into a slightly awkward silence. An idea pops into my head. "Spar?" He nods. We walk over to the sparring mat. "You know, I won't hold it against you when you lose." I tells him. "What makes you think you'll win?" I smirk. "Is that cockiness, Captain?" I say getting into a stance. He does the same.

"Maybe."

I throw the first punch. He blocks it sending his own. "So, how are you adjusting to the 21st century?" I ask. "Fine?" He says but it comes out more of as a question. "I talk while I spar. Throws Clint of balance. I talk about the oddest of things." I get another kick on his side, but he grabs my foot and flips me over. I scramble back up. "Peggy talks about you a lot."

He hesitates.

I take my chance. I run at him. I jump up and wrap my legs around his neck, sending us both the ground. He yields. "Get that move from Romanoff?" I shake my head getting back up. "No. Romanoff got it from me." I hold my hand out and he takes it getting up. "How do you know Peggy?" He asks. "She may or may not have recruited me to Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division." His eyes widen slightly. "Yes now you know one reason of why we shortened it to S.H.I.E.L.D."

"The other reason?" He asks. "Let's just say someone really wanted us to be called S.H.I.E.L.D. though we weren't officially called S.H.I.E.L.D. until four years ago."

"How long have you been with S.H.I.E.L.D.?" He asks. I let out a sigh. "Ten years and a day." There another silence but it's more comfortable than the last.

I could tell that we were gonna be great friends.