LIFE WAS BETTER OFF THE GRID || 1

Agent We're Witches, Bitches

"Hold still!" I say.

Pepper was pulling Nat's hair into a tight bun on the top of her head while I painted her face green. "But," she squirmed. "This is not my hairs natural state." I roll my eyes. "Well tell your hair to get a grip I'm trying not to poke you in your eye. For Mother's sake close them!" That made Natali— Natasha, freeze. "See." I tell her, painting the green face paint around her eyes. "I know what makes you tick."

"Is there a backstory about that or?" Pepper trails. "In fact there is. Eyes. Andromeda Kristoffer was her name. Grew up in a bad place. Married a wealthy man by the name of Draco Romanova when she was 17." I tell Pepper as I go over Nat's eyelids with green.

"Not her choice." I add.

"Of course Mother had multiple children. 5 by the time she was 23. Jana was eldest, she had her within a year after the wedding, but she died before her first hour. Drakov II was next, then there was Erik and Miroslav. Viktor only lived a few weeks, he was premature. Then she had Natalia Alianovna, Avianne Lovanovna, and Danielle." Nat's fists were clenched. "Open." I tell her so I can check the eyes and make sure I didn't miss anything. I didn't so I moved on to her hands. The dress was long sleeved so it was only her wrist down.

"But father was happy with his three sons, Drakov II would get the Romanova inheritance and continue on the bloodline, Erik had shown a high IQ by the time he was 5 and would grow to do great things, and Miroslav became a doctor. But even before his three daughters were even a week old, their fate was sealed. When the girls reached the age of 6, they would by sold off to an elite organization by the name of Red Room were they would be trained to be assassins. Once graduated they would move on to the KGB. Only two survived the training. Few years ago I went searching for Mother but she had died and I happily murdered my father but the authorities think it was a gas leak."

Pepper, now finished with Natasha's hair, sat wide eyed at how a man could do such a thing to his daughters. "But didn't the KGB cease in 1991? You would've been around..."

"6." Nat answered. "Just because something is defeated, doesn't mean it's dead." (So true with the MCU) I finished with the green paint and looked at us all in the big bathroom mirror. Pepper was already dressed in her pink and sparkly dress and her hair was curled and bobbed at her shoulders. I was in a blue and white gingham dress with my hair in braids, Dorothy Gale's signature look . Since I had refused to wear heels, I was in red converse.

"We're witches, bitches."

~

The boys' costumes came out quite well. I had made Tony swear to not just go in his silver Iron Man suit. He grumpily agreed.

I assume they had hired a professional makeup artist because there is no way that they go Tony to look like a silver tin can, Steve to look like a really tall scarecrow, Clint to look blue and have wings, and Bruce to look like a big mean softie (which he always is).

"What do we do now?"

"PICTURE!" Pepper practically shrieked. "OK, OK, just let me regain my hearing." I give Clint a weird look since he was already 80% deaf. We all gathered in the same spot we did when we had Jarvis take a picture for the Gala.

We stood in order of Nat, Bruce, Steve, Me, Tony, Pepper and Clint posing on the ground.

We stood in order of Wicked Witch, Cowardly Lion, Scarecrow, Dorothy, Tin Woodman, Glenda the Good, and a Flying Monkey doing a weird pose on the ground.

Jarvis did the picture and we all rearranged our selves to where I was on Steve's shoulders, Tony was carrying Pepper bridal style, Bruce and Nat had linked arms, and Clint was doing the splits.

We continued with individual pictures, a picture of just Tony, Bruce, Steve, and I, one with just the guys, one with just the girls, and many more weird ones.

We had all settled on the floor and some of the couches and chairs of the living room. We had snacks and drinks with the Wizard of Oz playing in the background.

"Hey, Romanova."

"hmm?" I turn to Tony.

"Truth or dare?"

"These are dangerous waters, Stark. Are you sure you want to tread here?" Nat asked. Tony mocked thinking really hard. "Yeah I'm sure." I rolled my eyes. "Dare."

"I dare you to do impressions of all of us." I narrow my eyes and him. "Fine." I stand up.

After many strange facial expressions and mockery, I got to Nat. I raised my hand in a finger gun and shot at Tony and then at Clint.

Clint did a slow clap and I stuck my tongue out at him. Tony looked incredibly annoyed. "OK, Barton. Truth or Dare?" I'm pretty sure I heard him mutter 'oh shit'. "What was that, Pigeonfart?"

"Truth." I grin evilly.

"What is your greatest regret in life?" I ask already knowing the answer. His eyes widen. "Nope. Nu uh. Skip!"

"Fine. Truth or Dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to tell me what your greatest regret in life is." I have him trapped now. "Bringing you back from Europe." He says sending me a glare. "As cheerful as that is, Francis, that's not true." He sighs knowing that I've got him now. "Joiningthecircus." He mumbles fastly.

"What?" Tony asks,

"Joining. The. Circus. There satisfied now, Romanova?" He asks. "Yeppers."

"Wait you were in a circus?" Steve asks but before Clint can answer a flash of lightning strikes and thunder booms. A tall figure stands outside on the balcony.

"Raise your hand if you thinking who I'm thinking just showed up?" 

We all raise our hands.