phobias // n.h. au

sixteen

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I had to admit, I was surprised I was still held in Niall's arms when I woke up. I thought maybe he'd do what he normally did, carry me back to the bed and fall asleep beside me, but not tonight.

I'll hold you closer than I ever did before. (Fcking kill me omfg)

His words echoed in my head. I didn't believe them, but what could I do? I let a sad demon back into my apartment, and he wouldn't leave.

I wanted to believe him, because it sounded right. I knew Greg was watching him like crazy, but I wished Niall would have told me. I felt betrayed, almost laughably.

I wriggled my way out, fell on the floor cursing, and I took notice of Niall's tear stained cheeks once I stood. I had no clue what he was thinking, and I wished I could figure him out. He was just one giant puzzle.

I reached the kitchen, my bare feet chilled on the tile. I was still in the clothes from the day before, and I noted to myself to change after some breakfast. I reached the fridge and pulled out the last two bagels in there.

I grabbed the cream cheese and took my time spreading it on at the kitchen table, enjoying the bright morning light landing in the wood floors of the visible living room. I could see the back on the couch Niall still laid on, and I internally sighed. I was such a confused girl.

Mixed signals were a killer.

The dust sunbeams made the air around me dance, and I couldn't help but feel I should too, just to take my mind off of everything. I finally finished the cream cheese on my bagels, and the best part began; eating.

I zoned out, enjoying my bagels, and unfortunately didn't notice when I got some on my face. I continued eating, thinking about how close the summer was to an end. University was started for me soon, and I wondered if Niall was going to stick around.

I wanted him to, but I also wanted him gone. I didn't want him just crashing here while I was out, but what else would he be doing? That Carly girl? Figures, I was already his number 2, after Greg and his minions.

The tap on my shoulder didn't earn a jump, but a small, unnoticeable flinch. I flicked my eyes and my head towards the figure now standing behind me and walking around to the other chair. His morning hair was all over the place, his sleepy smirk still plastered on his face. He sat down as I finished up, and we locked eyes for a second.

"Ah, here." he said, bringing his finger forward and wiping my cheek, cream cheese coming off on his finger.

(OMFG that was literally the hardest thing for me to write, food on people fingers in the grossed thing it makes me feel like I want to vomit all over the freaking planet. Sorry continue)

He stuck his finger in his mouth and pulled it back out clean, a bright white smile showing out. I couldn't help but smile back and whisper thanks to him. He nodded and suddenly I felt a little bad about not making him breakfast. Or maybe he should go ask Carly to do it, I'm sure she would.

"There's one bagel left, other than that, I don't know." I stated blankly as I stood, leaving him at the kitchen table as I threw away my paper towel. I turned back around and took notice of his slightly sad face, obviously faking a small smile. I shook my pity thought away as I walked past into the bedroom down the hall.

My back still pursued to pain me, and I couldn't help but since ever so slightly when I sat down. I hated thinking about it, but it was still better than about Niall. His thoughts pained me more the those of the Nightmare. They killed me.

I changed slowly, taking my time, and eventually, I was ready. I wore a black blouse and ripped skinny jeans. I could feel my clothing taste change along with my music to more rock-ish. I was tired if the good girl I was pictured as, and truthfully I my music taste seemed a little slow.

I opened the door quickly once I had my hair I a high pony tail, and jumped slightly when Niall stood just outside. He looked confused as I felt, and he took the few steps forward, closing the space between us before I could protest.

His lips locked on mine, and at first I didn't kiss back, frightened by myself. It wasn't until I was not able to fight off my feelings I still harbored for him in my heart that I kissed back. His hands cupped my face, his thumb rubbing my cheek ever so slightly. I reached around his neck, pulling his deeper against me, as I curled my fingers into his hair. I sure hoped this kiss meant now than nothing to him, because it sure did for me.

We stayed put in the hall until neither if us could breath again, where we laid our foreheads against each other's, still holding our positions. I saw the glossy eyes Niall had, and I gave him a confused look.

"I needed to see if it was still there."

"It is." I whispered in return to his statement, averting my eyes, not exactly proud it is.

"It is." he smiled as he repeated my statement, pecking my lips once more, still panting as he wrapped his arms around me pulling me as close as possible. I enveloped him as well, trying to organize the two voices fighting inside of me. I only held him tighter not caring what he did when I did start Uni, as long as he was still here with me.

The phone ringing broke us apart, Niall pleased as well as I. I answered and listened in close as the woman on the other end told me of the orientation I needed to attend tomorrow night. I relaxed once the call ended, and I realized Niall did too.

"What was that?" He asked, obviously confused.

"Niall, I'm starting Uni soon." I admitted, watching his reaction. His eyes widened and his lips parted slightly. He sat next to me on the couch, staring down at me.

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"Does that mean..?" he asked.

"No, you can stay, but I have classes to attend. And I'll be busy. It'll be tough." I replied, playing with the ends of my hair. He grabbed my waist and pulled me onto his lap, so I was straddling him. He looked me in the eyes, and the pure blue face me shivers.

"We'll make it work." he said, kissing my forehead, rubbing lightly on my lower back. I only nodded and leaned against him, resting, even if I only got up an hour ago.

"So what do you want to do today?"

"I guess I need to go buy some books for my classes, and I think I need a few good ones anyway. Come with me?" I answered, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

"Of course darling. Let me change, and we can go."

"Since when did you have clothes in our room? Don't you normally just snap and acquire a new outfit?"

"For a Uni girl, you aren't that smart." He replied, pulling me off his lap and setting me down back I the couch. I frowned at his comment and he laughed his contagious laugh all the way into the bed room. I shook my head at him and waited for his return. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad.

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A/n: hey, I'm back guysssss and I feel this chapter meant a little bit to me, and hopefully you guys. I don't think you read these anyway, so I'll just put random phrases in the next sentence. I believe, submarines. Operator please, put me back on the line. Honk if you read this. She's so out of reach, and it makes me feel, makes me feel like I'm trying to hard again. Rest in peace, california, simultaneous release.

Anywho, yay for Nistan. Whoop. goodbye guys thank youuu.