Katelyn

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I want to cry and scream all at once. But I don't. I can't. It's like something has been lodged in my throat.

I'm sitting on the toilet lid in my bathroom, the door locked, my head between my knees. I rock back and forth, not quite believing what happened. This can't be true. We were always so careful. This should not be happening. What are the chances?

How exactly did this happening to me? Well, I know how, but why? What did I do to deserve this? I'm a good, slightly violent girl. This isn't suppose to happen to me. No way. This only happens to characters from over dramatic TV shows. What about my plans? My life? I press my hand to my mouth, suppressing a sob. I glance up at it and sure as day, it hasn't changed. There is no denying it. I think of Aphmau. Her life isn't that bad. But her life won't be mine.

My father won't understand. Sure he'll try. He'll put on a facade for me and sure he'll support me, but I can already picture the look of disappointment on his face. He's not good with words, my father. He prefers to use his fists. Our walls are quite literally littered with holes. I've gotten good at using drywall. This would add quite a few more holes to our collection. I can already hear the sound of his fists colliding with his bedroom wall when he thinks Kacey and I are sleeping.

I glance at it, the small piece of plastic clutched in my right hand, wishing it would disappear. I resist the urge to snap it in half. My stomach churns just looking at it. On that little, itty plastic piece is a symbol that changes my life. A small plus sign. Ironically, next to it is a happy face. I want to punch that smile right off of that face.

I remember Aphmau calling me, crying the day she got that plus sign.

"Katelyn," she had said, her voice shaking. "I can't believe this. I'm pregnant."

She had Alina when she was fifteen, two years younger than I am now. I couldn't imagine having a baby that young and I was by her side when she gave birth. At the time, I couldn't imagine ever getting pregnant. But the universe had a funny sense of humour.

My fingers itch for my phone. I could call Aphmau. She'd understand. But I've never been good at telling people how I feel. Travis is the only one I can ever talk too. He unlocks this door in me, freeing emotion and making me feel all silly and sentimental. Oh my Irene. Travis.

He doesn't know. How could he? My head's spinning from all that's been going on. Graduation is in less than a week. School. I'm suppose to be graduating school. I'm suppose to go to college.

I stand up, legs shaking and look at myself in the full sized mirror leaning upon the wall. I haven't been exercising for weeks now. I've been too tired, too sick. I remember Garroth saying I was getting a little lazy and he thought he could actually win against me in a fight. I hit him. He deserved it.

I've been throwing up more often. I thought nothing of it. Just a stomach bug. Kacey had one a few weeks ago and so did some other kids at school. But this definitely isn't a stomach bug. That little stick proves it.

My heart thunders. I do look bigger. I don't know how I didn't notice.
Blinking back tears, I launch the pregnancy test across my bathroom, throwing it as hard as I can. It lands with a clang in corner of the bathtub, barely visible. Good. I don't want to see it.

"I'm pregnant." My voice is hoarse and barely louder than a whisper. I let out a shaky sob. It's the first time I've said the words out loud. "I'm pregnant."

My grad dress doesn't fit. Not at all. What once flattered my body, now clings in odd places. The lump in my throat returns. I need to tell Travis, I realize. It's his child. My Irene, it's his child.

I flop onto on my bed and grab my phone. I hit the contact labeled Travis. Aphmau says that it should say Baby, like she does with Aaron.

My phone buzzes and I can just imagine Travis on the other end picking it up. He's probably lying on his bed binge watching My Inner Demons or something. He doesn't know.

"Hey, Katelyn," he says, casually. "Did you know that Laurence got the new Dragon Age game? We should play. You'd like it." He sounds so oblivious. I wish I could feel that calm. But all I can think is panic, panic, panic.

"Travis," I say my voice wobbling.

"Is something wrong?" Travis asks, concern clear in his voice. "Talk to me, Katie." I hear his laptop click shut.

"I... I.. I need...." I can't do it. I can't ruin his life. Travis has plans, he has a future. "I need to break up with you." The words fly out of my mouth. I choke back a sob. I can't believe I just said that. I cannot believe it. I feel my heart shatter.

"What?" I hear the pain in his voice, the disbelief.

"I need a break, Travis." Like the cruel, cold, lying person I am, I precede to hang up on him

I curl up into a ball, sobs emerging from my mouth. Oh my Irene, what did I just do? What did I just do? I can't go see Travis tomorrow at school. It's easier to lie when he can't see my face. I can't lie to his face. I can't see his broken heart.
I place my hand over my stomach, rubbing it softly.

It's okay baby, I think. It's okay.

But in reality, it's anything but.

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Thanks for reading! Sequel is out now!

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