Presence (Cashby)

Im tired of holding up

Our band has been practicing for two weeks now and I must say we sound actually good. God, I'm cocky. I finished lunch early today so I thought it would be a good idea to throw some un needed books in my locker.

Once I got to my locker Austin was leaning up against it all gangster like.

"Um. Can I get in here" I squeak out.

"Yeah sorry" he pushes himself off and watches me open up my locker and casually throw my book in there.

"So um. What are you doing all out of the cafeteria and such?" I ask

"I just, I like to be alone sometimes"

"Oh sorry" I say shutting my locker and turning to leave.

"I wouldn't mind a bit of company though" he smiles weakly. I sit down on the floor next to him with a heavy sigh

"What's up?" I ask

"Oh, nothing" he says. Somehow I don't believe him.

"Cool"

I shiver a bit and he inches closer putting his arm over me to warm me.

"I know you don't like talking about it" he says "but sometimes I miss my mum too. Even though she died when I was young"

I frown. "I'm sorry"

"It's fine. I didn't know her well but I feel like I did"

I nod.

"Do you..." He chokes out "do you wish you could go back in time? See your mum again"

I think back to how happy she was. How real it really looked. "Yeah"

"My dad remarried after like two years."

Why is he telling me this? Like as far as I knew he didn't seem to like me that much. He was always so cold and hostile. I turn in to look at him seeing tears in his eyes, but not rolling down his cheek.

"Sometimes I hate him" he says moving closer. "And sometimes he is still the dad who would kiss my mom when he came home from work"

Before I knew it I felt his lips clash with mine. The bell rings and we separate realizing we are still in the hall. He stands up abruptly and drags me into the janitors closet locking it behind him. His lips connected with mine with such force that my body hit the shelves behind me and we knocked over cleaning supplies. He didn't seem to care, for some reason I didn't either. It's like I wanted this to happen. I wanted him. I ring my arms around his neck and his hands travel up my hips and into my shirt. He kisses down my jawline and to my neck. I moan in approval and he continues sucking in the one spot.

"Austin" I moan weakly.

He looks up in fear. "I'm so sorry" he says before bursting out of the room. Fantastic.

The rest of the day I didn't see him, he didn't come to rehearsal and he didn't come back to the dorm room.

I wake up the next morning to no Austin. I look in the mirror to my newly formed hicky and groan. I put on a jacket with a collar and headed out for classes. Austin didn't come to first period either.

Durning lunch I go to the bathroom to wash the stickiness off my fingers from the syrup. Brunch is like the best thing invented. Minus sticky fingers. Austin walks in and locks the door behind him. Oh not again. This is just too weird. But oddly enough I kind of want it.

"What the hell?" He asks

"What do you mean?" I ask back

"I mean like why am I gay for you all of a sudden. I'm fucking into fucking chicks not dicks"