(1) When We Collide (T. Stark)

Chapter Thirteen

(16w): The Impala zooms down a two-lane blacktop. Dean is driving, Sam in the passenger's seat, Spencer sits in the back, she's 16 weeks now and starting to show, so she's starting to wear her brother's shirts, despite Tony's offer for help she doesn't feel like she wants to take from him, she wants to show that she can do this the way she lives, that she doesn't need a man to do this her way. She still appreciates the offer and if he wants to do things for their child she's not going to stop him, but she's not going to ask. She touches her stomach, she can feel a difference, even though she's small for 16 weeks she knows there is something there.

"Come on, Sam, I'm begging you. This is stupid" Dean whines, Spencer rolls her eyes a little and rests her head back trying to ignore them.

"Why?" Sam asks.

"Going to visit Mom's grave? She doesn't even have a grave -- there, there was no body left after the fire"

"She has a headstone"

"Yeah, put up by her uncle, a man we've never even met. So you wanna, go pay your respects to a slab of granite put up by a stranger? Come on" Dean complains.

"Dean, that's not the point" Sam argues.

"Well then, enlighten me, Sam"

"It's not about a body, or, or, a casket. It's about her memory, okay?"

"Hmmm"

"And after Dad and with Spencer....it just... just feels like the right thing to do" Sam offers.

"It's irrational, is what it is" Dean argues.

"Look, man. No one asked you to come"

"Why don't we swing by the roadhouse instead? I mean, we haven't heard anything on the demon lately. We should be hunting that son of a bitch down"

"That's a good idea, you should. Just drop us off, Me and Spencer'll hitch a ride, and we'll meet you there tomorrow" Sam tells Dean.

"Right" Dean scoffs. "Stuck ... stuck with those people, making awkward small talk until you show up? No thanks"

"Then stop whining like a little pussy and deal with it" Spencer snaps, Dean and Sam glance to her. "You're irritating me" she gives them both a look and looks out the window, Sam bites his lip a little to stop himself from smirking, he and Dean turn forward again, the car falling silent.

..................

Sam kneels before a headstone, digging in the ground with a folding knife. The headstone reads: MARY WINCHESTER, 1954-1983, In Loving Memory. Spencer stands at his back, watching. Sam pulls a set of dogtags out of his pocket. He sighs.

"I think, um .... I think Dad would have wanted you to have these" He drops the dogtags in the hole and covers them. "I love you, Mom" Spencer sniffles a little, part her hormones, part her own grief. Sam takes her hand as it finds his shoulder. She holds out her other hand, a copy of her sonogram between her fingers, Sam takes it from her and smiles up at her, she smiles back and nods. On the back of the copy reads: Baby Winchester-Stark, due February 2007. Sam reads it and smiles before setting the photo under the vase of flowers on the edge of the tombstone. They both know a strong wind or some person may remove it, but they've done something. Sam stands and wraps an arm around Spencer's shoulders pulling her closer to his side, she wraps her own arm around him.

..................

4 days later: Driving along, Dean is driving, again, Sam sits in the passenger side and Spencer sits in the back, she's lost a bit of her good mood on this hunt, something's eating away at her and her brother's know it. They both glance to her, Dean in the rear view, Sam over his shoulder. She's been snappy the last few days, this case just hitting her the wrong way, a reanimated corpse. What's dead should stay dead.

"Pull over" Spencer tells Dean who frowns but does as she asks. She takes a breath and climbs out of the car. Sam and Dean follow her, concerned.

"Spence, what is it?" Sam asks her. "You feel sick?" she shakes her head and turns to them.

"I'm sorry" she tells them. Dean frowns a little.

"You -- For what?" he asks.

"The last few days....The way I've been acting"

"You're pregnant" Sam assures her. "Your hormones are all over the place..."

"It's not my pregnancy" she stops him. "It's...Dad" she offers. "It's..There's this guilt" she touches her chest. "I feel it all the time" she closes her eyes.

"What are you talking about?" Sam asks her.

"I know you've been thinking it, both of you, so have I. Doesn't take a genius to figure it out. Back at the hospital, I made a full recovery. It was a miracle. And five minutes later Dad's dead and the Colt's gone" she explains.

"Spencer" Dean steps closer to her.

"You can't tell me there's not a connection there. I don't know how the demon was involved. I don't know how the whole thing went down exactly. But Dad's dead because of me. And that much I do know" she tells them.

"We don't know that. Not for sure" Sam argues, Spencer looks to him.

"Sammy" she starts to cry and Dean moves to her, she looks down. "You two and Dad... you're the most important people in my life. And now ... I never should've come back" she sobs. "It wasn't natural. And now look what's come of it. I was dead. I should have stayed dead. And I should be happy" she touches her stomach. "I should be looking forward to being a mother but all I feel is this...guilt, this pain...this...." she closes her eyes sending tear down her cheeks. "You wanted to know how I was feeling. Well, that's it" she whispers. Dean hugs her tightly to his chest, his fingers in her hair. She cries into Dean's chest and the brothers share a look.