''Emerson,'' Clarke growled as she prowled through the abode, occasionally throwing her hands in the air in frustration. ''God-fucking-damnit, Emerson. I can't believe he's still alive.''
Lexa muttered something under her breath as she twisted a bolt into the wheelchair. ''We have to sort this out, Clarke. There's no point in forgetting that.''
''With what? A truce?'' Clarke nearly scoffed. ''Don't forget the people he killed, Lexa. 250 in Tondc. 50 of my people. He's not gonna change.''
Lexa sighed, and placed down the wrench. ''Clarke... do not forget that we are murderers as well. And do not forget that it is not the same now—the past is the past, and we are in an apocalypse now. Do you not think that our situation would be different as opposed to the past— when we were the only faces left on Earth?''
Clarke swivelled her head to face Lexa in disbelief. ''How is it different? He's still Maunon. We're still... us.'' A sigh. ''He still hates us, Lexa, for what we've done in the past. It doesn't matter if it's the future now—nothing can change that, not even an apocalypse.''
Madi didn't speak.
...
Alive. Alive. Alive.
He paced around the cave.
They were alive.
Sure he knew that. He knew that, when Madi told him three days ago. The murderer of his people and the Grounder Queen which instigated it all, Clarke and Lexa, alive alive alive. He knew it, he knew it, he knew it. Hell, he even told himself about it, repeated it so many times in their head that they were alive alive alive and told himself there was nothing he could do about it, because if he began to think of all the things he could do, would do, he'd never stop, and of course there was always Madi to think about. Madi, Madi, Madi, the child that was Grounder but was different alike. Wanted not war but peace, saved her enemies because she simply could. Madi, the reason why he didn't try and murder the genocidal maniac and the bloodthirsty tyrant yet.
But now, it had finally sunk in, like he'd finally realised that there was a sledgehammer pounding on his head all this time, like there was a fog that came when the Grounder child entered his life and he was lifted from the haze for the first time.
Alive Alive Alive.
It didn't matter if it was a mistake, a misunderstanding, or both. It was that which opened his eyes. And it was Madi's words which rubbed the colour away from the rose-tinted glasses.
Alive Alive Alive.
And now that they knew he was here, there was only one kind which could survive. And he'd be stupid if he didn't think they didn't think the same.
Alive Alive Alive.
They were alive.
...
5 DAYS LATER...
Madi trailed off into the forests, dragging her bow behind her as she thought about Carl Emerson's words.
He had seemed... confused. Even after everything she'd said, everything she'd accused him of, he was confused. He didn't seem to know what she was talking about, had no idea what she'd said, even when she left. So Carl was either a really good liar... or he was telling the truth.
That thought unsettled her. The remains of her last meal were still churning in her stomach, and Madi felt like she was going to be sick. Maybe—maybe it was something else. Maybe the trap was made before Praimfaya, or-or maybe...
So what if it wasn't him? W-what if he was telling the truth, that he didn't know? T-then I would'a gone off at him for nothing, and I would'a just have ruined everything.
Oh Spirits, she thought, and buried her head in her hands. Oh Spirits, maybe it wasn't him, she thought, and the weight of her spur-of-the-moment words finally crashed down on her. Spirits, even if he did it, or not—even if it was or wasn't him—what have I gone and DONE?!
Stupid, stupid, Madi! She kicked a stone. Stupid! Regret coloured red blossomed on her face, but the damage was still done. What have I said?! I... I told him that he'll always be Maunon, and we'll always be Grounder. I told him that we couldn't be one. Spirits, why was I so mean?! Why did I say that?!
Madi wanted to curl up and die, as her cheeks burned red. Oh, Spirits... please forgive me.
And in front of her, there stood a shadow. But then Madi blinked, there was a flash of brown, and it was gone.
W-what...?
And then there was a rustle, and there it was again, a dark figure, bounding among the woods. Two more blinks and it was gone, but it was unmistakably there.
''W-wait!'' Madi felt herself yell at it, as her eyes darted around the forests surrounding her, its expanse travelling around in a blur, and never had she ever felt so small, so... surrounded. And it was with wide eyes did she realise what she was witnessing, all over again.
Shadows dancing among the forests...
No. NonononoNO this was NOT happening now.
There was another rustle, and her head twisted to meet the sound, but there was nothing except the wide green trees that met her eyes.
Fumbling through the leaves. That was where her hands were. In her eyes she looked up—and saw the dusk.
NO! I'm not there anymore, I'm here now I'm here now I'm here now...
But no, she was there, distinctly, she felt it. The heartbeat, the drums, the march of the troops and the perspiration that glistened in her neck. And her body reacted on autopilot; and she was there again, she was back again, even though she wasn't, even though she couldn't be.
"Run, Madi! The Fleimkipas have come!"
She was running, she was running, until she wasn't. But her emotions were screaming, her body was sweating and hollering at her to go, to speed up, to burst or you're dead, even though she wasn't running, even though knew she wasn't physically there.
Surrounded by the shadows. One tightened hand, a jolt of warmth that surged through the palm, and then there was one bald man, his hand clasping a sword. Lines of anger creased his expression, and she felt revulsion grip her throat. A suckle back, and then a spat that splattered his face.
noNOno this WASN'T happening! But she was there again, but this time she wasn't her, this time she wasn't watching the scene, staring in the horror of it all. This time she was them.
A holler, a shout, one swoop of a blade that glistened the dawn of golden-yellow...
There was a glimpse of brown, and then Madi fell, tumbling down a dozen miles away, to a place no closer than home.