Entry - ??? days since Praimfaya.
Oh god.
In total, there were 150+ sketches of Lexa. Some of which included a child in it, which had caused the said child in question to make a few faces. We had skimmed through the pages really quickly, and Lexa had made a non-commital comment after we were done with all of it, and had left, followed by Madi.
And I'll admit it. After they were both gone, I took a look at the notebook. And guess what? It was a lot worse than what I thought it was gonna be.
Really, past-self Clarke? Really? You didn't have to be so obvious. Gosh, if I was anything, then I was definitely obvious. Probably passed that trait to me right now, come to think about it, if writing in a journal about what I'm thinking right now isn't obvious enough...
Wait. Were we a thing before...? Then I might have a chance.
No. What am I thinking? That is not happening. Not when there's so much to do, so much to care about than relationship things. Lots of things to care about. So that's definitely out of the window. For the greater good.
What if she has those feelings back?
Nope. Not thinking about that. Can't.
...
''Clarke? C-can you work with me on my trebuchet?''
''Trebuchets? Oh, sure,'' Clarke muttered absentmindedly, as Madi escorted her outside. But once Madi had ungraciously pushed her away outside of the door, as Clarke waited for her, Madi did not follow her out.
It took a bit of time as Clarke waited for her to come out until she realised that Madi was not coming out.
Her eyes narrowed, still half in confusion and bewilderment, at Madi, who was standing by the abode door, looking like she had just won the lottery. ''Madi?''
''You're not coming into this abode!'' Madi said, poking her tongue out. ''Till you talk things over with Lexa!'' And before Clarke could protest, she slammed the door in her face, and Clarke blinked because no, Madi did not just do what she think she did.
It was after a lot of banging and yells of complaint and protests that Clarke realised that Madi was NOT opening the door. And at the sheer horror of the realisation, she collapsed against the abode door, breathing her first few breaths after the rebirth. Spirits, she could hear Madi's giggles from the inside of the abode. And—oh god—her eyes widened. Was that Luna... laughing among her?
If people could die and come back again, Clarke was pretty sure that she had died twice so far. She heaved a breath, and leaning against the door in utter defeat, her eyes had inadvertently travelled across the village; and it had landed on a figure on the far end, near the well.
She swallowed. Oh god. Here we go...
...
''Lexa?'' Clarke asked hesitantly, as she picked herself up and moved away from the abode door. Wind, so non-existent before, ran through her hair and through her body; which, for some reason, kept her at ease.
Lexa was observing the forests from an even spot in the village, in a place where the ground was flat just before it veered off into the forests. From a distance, after hearing her voice, Lexa turned towards her and began to wheel towards her.
Oh god. Clarke swallowed, as she eyed Lexa who was nearly closing the distance between the two of them. Confidence and Madi be damned, she was definitely not prepared for this.
And when they were finally facing each other, eye to eye, as Clarke tried to regain whatever little confidence she had to speak again, Lexa was the one who cleared her throat and spoke.
