Madi woke up screaming.
Jolted awake by the hammering in her brain; stayed awake because of the flashes that circulated around her head.
SPIRITS! Forests Forests Forests and the dawn and oh Spirits the DAWN.
Adrenaline coursed through her veins as if chanting for some battle that existed in her head. But it wasn't in her head—no it wasn't because it had felt all-too-real, all at once, and it wasn't just them that was eyes darted wildly around her surroundings. She was in her room; in her bed. Not there. She wasn't there. Breathe. Breathebreathebreathebreathe.
Screwed her eyes shut, felt the sweat prickle against her neck. Sat up against her bed; up against the board. Breathe. Gripped the bedsheets and tossed them to the side; gathered her knees into her arms and buried her head in it. Her breath hitched in quick gasps—breathe.
Clarke and Lexa would be coming any minute now. They probably heard her scream.
Spirits, you're not there anymore. You're not there anymore,
She wasn't there anymore. She wasn't, wasn't, wasn't—
Why're you even dreaming about it? So many times?
No. No, no, no she couldn't think this now, not when the nightmare was still burned so freshly in her mind and she could still see could still the lights in the dawn and the sword in the bald man's hands. No, she couldn't.
Is it cause you want them to die? That's why you think about it so much? 'Cause you wanna see their deaths, over and over again?
Theirs? His?
Is that why?
Spirits, SHUT UP!
Madi breathed in a breath, exhaled slowly. Squeezed her eyes shut. No, that's not why. I-I'm not dreaming about them 'cause o-of sadism or s-somethin'. It's a nightmare. They're all nightmares. They all are.
(Then why did she call them dreams?)
...
''I'm sorry?'' Clarke blinked, once, twice, nigh-uncomprehendingly, her head whipping over to face Lexa in disbelief. ''Y-you want her... to...''
''Fight,'' Lexa supplied and placed the knife down on the counter. ''She needs to learn to fight if she wants to rid of her trauma.''
Countless days of nightmares. Madi had them all, even in days where she had gone to bed with a smile on her face and a skip in her step. They had comforted her during one a many nights, after the nightmares had gone and Madi woke up sobbing, which usually followed a lot of reassurance, comfort, and always ended with Madi sticking a lot closer to the both of them a few hours after the ordeal, holding by the fingers of their hands or just somewhere which she could feel their presence.
And of course, there were those nights where Lexa insisted to give Madi time alone for herself, even though her sniffles was so painfully obvious from her room. But that did not warrant an automatic jump from fearing sleep to learning to fight.
Clarke looked at Lexa and blinked for a few moments as if trying to digest what Lexa had said. ''I-I'm not sure if that's how it works,'' she admitted and gazed at Lexa to see if she was hearing right. So she wanted to train Madi to fight... to ward off her demons?
''Precisely,'' Lexa said swiftly, lifting her head slightly to meet Clarke's eyes, which had shocked Clarke enough because did she just read her mind? ''Training not only helps her physically but mentally as well. She will feel better; for if she learns to fight her demons physically, then her confidence in herself and her abilities will grow as well; and eventually, she will learn to fight her own battles and settle her mental demons.''
