Lucky Gloom Boy | Gawsten

One

I lay my head on the school desk. I'm so fucking tired. Staying awake for the past two days has been a bad idea. Sleep just has been impossible lately.

The bell rings for first period to start. I tiredly raise my head. I don't want to be here. Not now, not ever.

"Okay, class, let's get star-" Mrs. Harmon gets interrupted by a small knock on the door. "One moment." She assures, walking over to where the noise came from.

I lay my head back down on the desk, my head pounding. It's too early for a headache, but that's what I get for being awake for so long barely eating. I'm just so stressed it hard to do anything.

I hear my name from a distance, causing me to raise up immediately and look straight ahead, locking eyes awkwardly with the teacher. 

"Awsten, does anyone normally sit next to you?" She ask. I shake my head no. She gently smiles. "Great, Jeff, have a seat next to Awsten." She says.

I didn't even realize that we were getting a new student. As he walks over to me, I study him awkwardly. He has light brown hair and soft blue eyes. He wears a Legend Of Zelda shirt with a jean jacket and dark skinny jeans.

"Are you Austen?" Jeff ask. "Yeah. Austen spelled A-W-S-T-E-N." I laugh, looking away.

"Oh," he also laughs. "I'm Jeff, spelled G-E-O-F-F." Suddenly I feel more awkward. I thought it was spelled like how everyone else spells it. His family must not be from around here.

Geoff finally take a seat. I can feel my heart pounding in my ears and through my body.

The conversation falls as class officially starts. I rest my head against my fist, propping myself up. My mind is everywhere except for where it should be.

Suddenly something hits my desk. I look down to see a folded, college ruled paper laying on my notebook. I unfold it, reading the neat handwriting.

Are you okay? You look like you haven't slept in days.

I assume this is from Geoff, considering no one else in this school gives a shit about anyone. Not even themselves.

I scribble down the first thing that comes to mind. I don't want to tell him to much, my business means nothing to him.

Yeah, I haven't haha. I'm okay though.

I toss back the note then crawl back into my mind. No use in seeing his reaction.

The piece of paper takes awhile but eventually finds it's way back to my desk.

Are you sure?

Stupid question, but at least he's trying. He's already better than most people.

Yeah, dude, I'm good. Are you?

At this point I don't even know if I'm lying. But I don't care, I don't have any friends and I have a chance of getting a friend. I don't want to ruin it.

I don't remember giving the note back to him, but he tosses it back on my desk.

Yeah, I guess, I mean I'm a new kid. How good could I be?

I press my lips together, shaking my pencil between my index and middle finger.

Yeah, true.

I hand the paper back, and that seemed to have ended the conversation. I hate being so awkward, conversations are always the hardest. Especially with new people.