... And Other Ships

VMin: Let Go

[Taehyung]

I couldn't take it anymore. All the arguing, all the lonely nights spent at the dining room table in deep thought, all the times I caught Jimin crying on the patio finally caught up to me. I finally opened my eyes to realize that we weren't working anymore.

I needed to let Jimin go.

Of course, I figured this out on a Good Day. Good Days were usually days where no fights broke out, nothing went wrong. They used to be so common, but now they were few and far-between. We cherished them like they were the last days of our lives. But today was the last day of our relationship; only I knew that, though.

Almost four years was half a year too many; we should have split a while ago. The only reason we didn't was because I was so manipulative and Jimin was too gullible. I stopped being a manipulative asshole the second I realized that was what I was becoming; that was not me and Jimin and I both knew it. For the last four months, I only used a simple word to keep him with me.

Please. 'Please, Jimin. I don't want to lose you.'

I still don't want to lose him. I wish we could continue to work, but we have grown too far apart for that. Both of us take equal parts of the blame in my eyes. Jimin deserved someone better than me, anyways.

-------

Jimin looked so peaceful as he slept. He looked so unbothered and so much like a fallen angel that I couldn't help but let a few tears fall as I stood in the doorway of our room, one already-packed bookbag in my hand. It contained all my sketchbooks and journals, as well as phone charger, jewelry and other things.

Without another word, I crept into the closet and opened two empty duffel bags and proceeded to pack. I was silent in my packing, but I didn't worry if Jimin woke up. He slept like a rock and wouldn't wake up for an earthquake. It took about thirty minutes to pack all of my clothes and carry the bags out to my car. This was easier than doing it while he was awake.

I trudged back up to the apartment and into the bedroom with my letter to Jimin in my hand. It would be my last letter to him and I just somehow knew it. I placed it on his bedside table, then crouched down to run a hand through his messy black hair. "I'm sorry," I whispered as I placed a final kiss on his cheek. His kiss goodbye.

-------

[Jimin]

I woke up to a cold bed and half-empty apartment. The only thing that remained of Taehyung were the pictures on the walls and in the photo album of our friends, as well as a letter on my bedside table. It was folded into a heart with my glasses resting on top of it. He knew I wouldn't miss it if my glasses were on top of it.

Silence engulfed me as I made tea, then slipped out onto the patio with my mug and the letter. I took a seat in a chair and unfolded the letter carefully. It was a little wrinkled and seemed to have tear-stains on it. After I smoothed it out and adjusted my glasses, I began to read:

'Jimin,

I'm so sorry, but this isn't working anymore. We're not working anymore. For the past six months, I've been nothing but shit to you. You don't deserve that, Jimin. You deserved to be loved and appreciated and so much more I can't even write it in this damn letter. You deserve the world and I can't give that to you no matter how hard I try. It's time for me to go, Park Jimin.

If I could find a way for us to be together, you know I would. In a perfect world, we would get married and be together forever. But this is not a perfect world. We're not getting married and we're not going to be together forever. Our love was more than I could ever dream of and I would love to thank you for that. I'm forever thankful.

I'm sorry for disappearing in the middle of the night. Understand that it was the only way for me to go without an argument or having to see you cry. You know I hate seeing you cry, doll. I wanted to leave peacefully, as if I was a dream and you're waking up to reality.

Do me a favor. Let me go. Let go of me, of us. Heal, just like I will. Please.

And please don't cry over me. I'm nothing to cry over, okay? Good boy.

Thank you for an amazing three and a half years, Park Jimin. They were the best years of my life.

- Kim Taehyung'

I wiped the tears from my eyes and looked into the spring sky. "Goodbye, Kim Taehyung. Thank you for loving me," I whispered into the wind, hoping my message would somehow reach him in his travels.

Right there, I decided that I was ready to let go.