Are we friends or are we more?

Chapter 15

"Deck the halls with bells of holly." I sing as I spread nutella on a slice of toast fresh out the toaster. Normally I would just eat the nutella out of the jar but Joe told me off for doing that yesterday so as it's Christmas eve I thought I'd be good and eat it on some toast.

"It is the season to be jolly." Joe sings walking out his bedroom into the kitchen. "Fa la la la la, la la la la." He carries on the tune as he walks up to me and takes the slice of toast of my plate. He takes a giant bite out of my toast before placing it back on my plate.

"Would you like some toast?" I offer sarcastically though I know he is probably getting me back from eating some of his sandwich at lunch in costa yesterday. Things between Joe and I are actually alright. After the kiss kind of stayed in that position for a long time,  Joe holding me in the air  and our foreheads rested on each other, but then he put me down and made a joke about my weight and things went back to normal pretty quickly. Since then I haven't kissed Joe, he hasn't kissed me. That doesn't mean I haven't thought about it, I've been thinking about it a lot. I mean, I'm not going to lie Joe is really attractive. I've tried not to notice it but ever since he kissed me that first time I can't stop noticing how good looking he is.  It doesn't help that Joe only sleeps in sweatpants and no top so he walks around the apartment topless in the morning. 

"You're okay thanks, I've already had some." Joe says as he finishes chewing on the toast in his mouth. "You ready to leave in about 10 minutes?" 

"Yeah." I say nodding, today we are both getting the train home to Bath so we can spend Christmas with our families. I know it's a bit stupid because we've only been living in our apartment 6 days and we are already going home but that's home it's how it worked out. "Brushed my teeth and everything." I say proud of myself.

"And you're eating nutella on toast doesn't that taste a bit gross?" He asks as he puts the bag which I guess must have his clothes for the trip in on the floor next to mine. 

I shrug. "It just tastes like mint chocolate." It doesn't, he's right it does taste disgusting but there is no way I'm going to admit to that. 

Joe pulls a frowny face at me. "How delightful." He says. "Hey! Wait a minute, isn't that my jumper?"

"What this?" I ask pulling at the white christmassy hoodie I have on. "Yeah, it is." I was hoping he wouldn't notice I had it and I could steal it. It's like the nicest hoodie in the world and it's really warm.

Joe rolls his eyes jokingly. "Would you like to borrow my hoodie?" He mimics my voice from earlier.

"No thanks, I've already got one." I say grinning as I pick up my toast from the plate and take a bite. 

Joe laughs shaking his head before he bends down and picks up mine and his bag. "Come on freak, lets go before we miss our train." He says as he hands me my bag.

I take my bag off him and take the piece of  toast in my other hand. "You got your key?" I ask.

Joe rolls his eyes again. "Yesss." He says sighing as we walk towards the door.

"Okay, I was just checking." I say waving my piece of toast at him. 

"Will you hurry up and eat that toast or I will eat it for you." Joe says as I open the door and step out onto the landing outside our apartment. 

I open the door to my house and practically collapse into the hallway. I dump my bag on the floor along with the other plastic bags I've been carrying that are full of presents. I don't remember the walk from the train station to home ever being that long. I should of taken up Joe's offer of a lift. "Hello?" I shout into the house. 

"Yes dear, just a second!" I hear my mum call. I'm a little surprised she's home, mum normally works on Christmas eve.

"Dad in?" I ask shouting up the stairs.

"No, he's a work!" She says. I then hear footsteps and a door opening before I see my mums face pop out the bathroom door at the top of the stairs. 

"Hi." I smile. Mum does not look her best, she has massive bags under her eyes and her face is as pale as a sheet. Her brown eyes are blood shot and it looks like she's been crying. It reminds me of a conversation I had with dad a month ago about mums health.

I open my mouth to say something but she puts on a massive fake smile and says ."Hello love." Opening the door fully before she walks out and down the stairs. "How are you?" She asks pulling me into a hug.

"Good." I smile returning the hug before pulling away and following mum into the kitchen. "The apartment is great. I love living in London, it's so good only having to walk 2 minutes to get to the shop."

Mum smiles. "I remember when I used to live there. It was great. Done anything exciting while you're there?" 

I smile when mum mentions about her past and how she used to live in London. I love it when she tells me story's of her childhood. "Not really just sorted out the apartment. What about you, how are you?"  

"I'm alright dear, you know how it is a Christmas. Everything is full steam ahead." Mum says turning to kettle. "Want some tea love?"

"No thanks mum, I had a coffee on the train." I say sitting down at one of the stools at the breakfast bar. I watch mum as she slowly walks over to the sink to fill the kettle with water. My chest feels a little tight as I watch, mum isn't getting any younger though she is only 64 she isn't in the best shape for a 64 year old. (Mum and dad had me when they were 44). Dad told me he's starting to worry about her, she doesn't stop coughing, he said. He keeps trying to get her to go to the doctors but she refuses to go.

"How come you're not at work?" I ask tapping my fingers on the table top.

"Just a bit of a chest infection." She says it as if it's a script, as if she's been practicing it in her head. "Nothing more."