Are we friends or are we more?

Chapter 27

I watch Joe as he walks into his room and closes his door behind him. 'Just let me see what I can do.' I repeat it in my head, what the hell is that supposed to mean? I sigh, perhaps he's going to ask me to be his girlfriend or perhaps he's just going to stop kissing me, which to be honest would totally suck. I go into my jeans pocket and grab my phone before dialing out Emma's number, I seriously need some advice.

Bring-bring

Bring-bring

Bring-

"Hello?" Emma answers cheerily, I hear traffic and cars in the background and I know she must be outside somewhere. 

"Heyyy." I say going back to fiddling with the bracelet that hangs on my wrist. 

"What's up my little duck?" Emma says.

"Need some girly talk, thought I'd call you." I say.

"Couldn't you of called Zoe?" Emma knows that I would normally ring Zoe for advice but asking her for advice on her brother? That would be awkward, plus she'd probably say something to Joe. Her and Tanya keep telling me they are going to get us together but they still haven't... yet. 

"It's boy stuff." I say knowing that Emma will understand it's about Joe.

"Oooooh, okay, I get you, I've just finished work, do you want to grab a coffee?" Emma says. 

"Sure!" I say, I've fancied a coffee all day but forgot to get one after college, "Where were you thinking?" 

"Well I am literally just walking past that Costa we go to for our lunch breaks." 

"Alright." I smile, I knew she would say Costa, Emma is addicted to it. "I'll be there asap." I get up from the couch and walk towards the door where I grab my converse from the floor next to it.

"Did you just say asap out loud?" Emma asks disgustedly. 

"Yeah." I say knowing her feelings on text talk, "What you going to do about it?"

"Something horrible, not sure what yet though."

I laugh as I grab my coat of the hook, "Bye Joe!" I call into the apartment, "I'm going out with Emma, I shouldn't be too long."

"See you." Joe pops his head around the door his ear also connected to a phone. 

"Bye." I smile before grabbing my keys and purse off the table by the door and leaving the apartment. 

"So what's all these boy problems you're having?" Emma asks curiously as we settle down into our table right at the front of costa by the window, we always sit here. 

I sigh wrapping my hands around the long tall hot chocolate glass (I changed my mind last minute and went for a hot chocolate because I haven't had one in a while.) "It's all getting a bit confusing." This whole thing is tarting to really hurt my head.

"In what way?" Emma cocks her head on the side.

"We keep kissing each other then regretting it and saying it's a bad idea but then kissing again." I explain.

Emma shrugs, "It's just a kiss, what's the big deal?"

"That's the thing." I say, "Though it is just a kiss it feels like so much more. I get butterflies in my stomach and sparks fly across my skin." It sounds kind of weird when I say it out loud but it's true so I stop myself from throwing up.

"Do you think you love him?" Emma looks at me raising her eyebrows. 

"What?" I say coughing slightly, my cheeks flaming red. The idea of being in love with Joe Sugg terrifies me, I used to be scared to even look at him that way let alone love him. Love is such a small word for something with such a big meaning. Perhaps I do love him, perhaps I don't but I think deep inside I know there will always be a place for Joe in my life, always. 

"Don't look so surprised!" Emma smiles at me. "Sometimes with things like this you just know, other times it takes time to work it all out."

"Well at the minute I have absolutely no idea." I take a sip of my hot chocolate.

"And that's ok." Emma says, "What's not ok is that you are letting it get you down. You need to keep your chin up Autumn and stop letting Joe infect your mind."

"But I like it when Joe infects my mind." I say looking down at the hot chocolate and studying it's content.

Emma smiles at me and gives me knowing look, "Well then let him infect your mind. Let him be all you think about ever until the day you die, Autumn you blushed like crazy when I mentioned the L word, you may not love him but you definitely like him. If that makes you feel good then spend every day and every second with him because not many people find someone who can make them feel like you do about Joe. You have no idea how jealous I am of your friendship and how much I want you to make it more. I may even ship you, you may even be my OTP. If it feels right then you should let it be.  Make the most of this gift Autumn Rouge before you loose it."

Everything Emma said buzzes around in my head, 'gift', 'jealous, 'OTP.' I guess she is right, I do need to make the most of every thing because Joe isn't going to wait around for me forever, I mean look at him there are a few thousands girls out there who want to meet him. I should just let it be because though it shouldn't being with Joe feels right. All of sudden all the feeling from the past few months start to make sense to me and I think that maybe, just maybe, I am in love with Joe Sugg.

 I look up from my drink, "Does anyone have a snorkel because shit just got deep." I joke grinning.

Emma smiles back, "I was quite proud of that actually, I think I should write speeches."

"Yeah," I say, "Just don't give the day job up just yet."