Professional Publicity Stunt » Shawn Mendes✔️

fourteen: i'm not trying to ruin your happiness, baby.

A/N: Hello, I feel like it's been way too long. And I should be studying or doing school work right now, but this chapter came to mind and I am listening to a recording of one of the songs we're singing at our concert for choir, so technically I'm studying. Loopholes. Enjoy!

When Shawn shuts the door behind him, I have to stop myself from screaming. I settle for leaning against the closed door with a...shocked and pleased smile on my lips.

            The logical side of me – the side that knows it is so wrong to kiss him like that, behind closed doors, not for cameras, just for us – is nothing short of yelling at me. Telling me I need to text him and tell him that was a mistake and I'm so sorry for saying yes. Or play it off and say that was good practice for when the cameras are around us.

            But I can't. The other side of me – the side that is reckless without reason and can't be bothered to care because my goodness his lips are soft – dials Kate's number.

            She's still in L.A., thank god, because I need someone over here now.

            "Hey! I was just on my way out, I was wondering if you wanted to grab some lunch and have a girl's day? Oh, shoot. Has Shawn left yet?"

            "Uh, yeah, yeah he left...a few minutes ago..." It takes every fiber of strength I have to not start squealing. The fiery blush on my cheeks is enough to make me go mad.

            "You sound...happy?"

            I can't take it anymore. "Shawn kissed me."

            "He what?"

            I hold in a squeal. "I know!"

            "Wait, wait, wait," I hear her car door close. "He kissed you?"

            I nod, trying and failing to contain my smile. It's hard for me to really believe, too, but it happened. "He was helping me get my stuff back to my apartment, and he came inside, and just...asked if he could kiss me."

            "And you said yes."

            "Obviously!" I'm not a dumbass. When Shawn Mendes asks if he can kiss you, you say yes.

            "Oh my god!"

            "I know!"

            I hear her let out a laugh, the engine in her car starting. The audio shifts then, connecting to the Bluetooth in her car. "So...how was it?"

            "Better than I imagined," I gush, walking over to my couch. I lay down, my hand resting on my stomach as I stare at the ceiling. "I feel like a teenager." Which makes sense, really. I never got to experience relationships as a teenager. Maybe that's why I was so quick to jump into this job.

            Maybe that's why this is so overwhelming.

            "I've never felt like this," I murmur, a light of vulnerability shining through. "Is this bad?"

            "It's not bad at all." I hear the background noise, the windy sound that signals she's driving. "It's good. You guys are cute."

            "But we're not supposed to be..."

            "Supposed to be in a real relationship, I know," she sighs. This has always confused her, but she always supported me. Even if she didn't fully understand it. "You know...no one would know if you guys just...started being in a real relationship. No one knows it started as PR, so you could always..."