Professional Publicity Stunt » Shawn Mendes✔️

thirty-four: miles apart

Even when we're miles apart/I'll still hold you close/
Whenever I walk too far/you'll still be my home

I spend the day with Kate getting settled into the apartment we'll be staying in while we're here filming. We're entirely too giddy, but we can't help it. This is like a two-month long sleepover. Who wouldn't be excited about that?

It's easier to not think about Shawn when I'm folding Kate and I's favorite blankets to leave on the couch (because Lord knows on our few days off, and on the nights we aren't filming, we're going to be right here watching sappy movies). But it's not so easy to not think about him when the playlist Kate has playing over her speakers starts playing one of his songs.

"Never Be Alone." Of all songs, it had to be that one.

Kate silently skips the song, returning to her task of putting up the few groceries we had picked up. I know she's trying not to make a big deal of it, and I know she's tiptoeing around the entire thing for my sake.

But as stupid as it sounds, I want to cry about it. Sure, I cried there with Shawn and in the car on the way to the airport, but I haven't really cried over it. That sort of cry is different. And I haven't had a moment for that yet.

I wish I did have a moment. It's the worst feeling in the world when you need to just cry and let it all out, but there are things you have to do. Life goes on because it has to. Time doesn't slow down for the heartbroken.

I venture into the small kitchen, helping Kate find a place for the selection of junk food we got.

I can tell there's hesitation in the air. It takes her a full moment to even get the question out of her mouth.

"Are you okay?"

I think about saying I am. Because that would be easier. But she can see right through me, so it wouldn't work.

So, I shake my head. "No. I'm not."

She frowns. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I shrug, then stop. "Well, it's not. But it'll have to be. For now." I flash a smile. "We've got a dinner to get ready for."

"Do you still want to go?" She asks slowly.

"And miss a chance to hang out with the cast? Absolutely not. We're going."

She gives me a wary look. "If you're sure."

"I'm sure," I promise her, walking off to my room to get dressed.

+++

Three days. Three days of exploring and studying lines and spending time with the cast, and most importantly, spending the best time with my best friend. It's all as exhausting as it is exciting, but I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.

Day four is a particularly chill day. We're all staying in, deciding we really should have a hardcore memorization day. I'm meeting with Andrew to ask him some questions later, but for now I'm left to my own devices. Kate is out with a friend that lives here, and despite her invitation, I did stay in.

I open up my laptop, checking my email here since my phone is on the charger in my room. I also haven't been using it as much since giving Sidney free rein of my socials. He changed all of the passwords, so I can't get in (per my request), but I can send him pictures if I want him to share them to share them somewhere. I haven't yet. I haven't decided if I want to go completely silent or if I'll want him to post some things. For now, the pictures live on my phone, and that's enough for me.

I log into my email, seeing the usual random junk, but one catches my eyes.

josiahvandienphotos@gmail.com Mark as spam?