Professional Publicity Stunt » Shawn Mendes✔️

thirty-five: i don't wanna lose you now, or ever.

A/N: I highly recommend listening to the song while you read, or just whenever. It's a really good song. And really (strangely) fits this story almost perfectly.

it was always hard to pin you down/
and it was only natural for me to hope you'd come around/
but please, take your reservations and forget them/
you know things could be so easy if you'd let them

One month into filming, and Shawn and I have not lost contact with one another.

I have no idea how we ended up here, either. I was so ready to forget about him and never talk to him again because I was so certain he was going to hate me for the rest of his life, but as always, he's surprised me and been kind to me. He's kept in touch with me when I most certainly do not deserve it.

But he has.

We don't talk about much. Just about our days, which are pretty hectic now. He's starting to play more shows, and we're halfway done with filming here. Our busy schedules have limited our talking to text only – and those are even sporadic. But for some reason, it's enough. Just hearing about his day is enough for me, even if one day he may wake up and realize he doesn't need to talk to me anymore.

I won't be surprised if that ever happens. I know how it happens. You talk to someone after ending things, only to realize you don't need to anymore. You realize you're better off. You realize all you're doing is making it harder to let go. Until you finally do let go. And then you realize it wasn't hard at all. And you wonder why you hadn't done it sooner.

I'm speaking from experience.

Which is why it doesn't surprise me when Shawn's texts begin to slow down. Every day becomes every other day, and then a day here and there. Talking about our days becomes talking about our weeks because it's been that long since we've caught up with one another. Until one day an entire week has passed without a word.

And I'm not surprised. But I can't say I'm not hurt.

I get dressed and ready to head to the makeup trailer, trying not to think about it and trying not to look at my phone. One week left of filming. And then I can...I don't know. I can't hide forever. But maybe hiding for a month or two wouldn't hurt. Hiding while the movie goes into post-production has to be normal for actors, right?

I slip into my shoes, grabbing my script to take with me. I cast a fleeting glance at my phone before deciding to leave it here, hoping to feel a little less hurt if I don't have it on me as a constant reminder.

But, something in me tells me to check it one last time before I leave in case of any updates, and I'm glad I did. Apparently, they need a few more minutes, but Lindsey will text me when she's ready for me.

I'm not ashamed of the sigh of relief that leaves me. I could use a few more minutes to look over the last scene and to just breathe, alone here in my trailer.

I manage to do just that, getting to spend these rare few moments alone by myself in some quiet. Until someone starts knocking on my trailer door. It sounds a lot like how Lindsey knocks, which is strange.

Curious, I walk over, pulling the door open. "I thought you said you'd text—"

Shawn's eyebrows furrow, his head tilting as he bites back a smile.

In a moment of panic, I slam the door in his face.

But then in the next moment of panic where I realize what I did, I yank the door back open. "I'm so sorry—"