It's like, I'm getting so much better, ya know? I'm smiling when good things happen and planning for a future I never thought I'd have. We're out together laughing, but behind every smile I can still feel the darkness. I feel the emptiness behind my heart, that once consumed me. I'm not cutting myself or isolating myself or hurting anyone, but that doesn't make it all better. Thoughts of suicide run constantly through my head. Loved ones and things I love to do don't push it aside. Nothing can push it away, it's always there. I'm talking about my bright future while composing suicide notes, and finalizing my plan(s). Something's wrong. Something's broken. And I'm so scared it can't be fixed.
