Queen of Roses

37) Land of Exile

Taehyung downed another glass of bitter alcohol – his fifth of the night. The cold fluid burned his throat and numbed his mind, but it could never erase the image of Chaeyoung's broken-hearted expression from his memories. Every tear she shed was like another dagger piercing his heart. And knowing he was the cause of her pain was even more unbearable.

He wanted to protect her, to nudge her towards the right direction, towards her fate – but why did pushing her away feel so unsettling, so painful, so wrong?

As he performed his song, his heart begged him to chase after her, but his mind urged him to finish his performance and give her the space she required to clear her mind. Because, somehow, every single interaction, every secret smile, every stolen glance, hell, every breath they shared magnified his feelings and he feared that it would soon be impossible to separate from her at all. And in that vulnerable moment, they both knew they would end up in each other's arms again and that would only make the situation harder. After all, no matter what their hearts desired, the universe had already decided they could never be.

"Listen," Seokjin stood in front of the bar, an arm slung over a busty courtesan's shoulders while his other hand barely managed to hold onto a wine glass, "heartbreak's tough but so are you. And you do not need a woman to be happy when you are a strong independent man who can provide for yourself."

Taehyung had to resist the urge to punch him in the face. Instead, he leaned across the counter to grab another drink.

"Are you really going to tell me that with all the women you've breezed through tonight?" he slurred as he began to gently sway in place, feeling the alcohol take effect at last.

Seokjin coughed uncomfortably as the woman slid out of his arms with an expression of utter betrayal.

"You told me I was the only one for you!" she exclaimed, and Taehyung did not feel even a smidge of guilt for the secret he had accidentally revealed.

"You are," Seokjin reassured her after throwing a glare at Taehyung who was just watching them for entertainment purposes at this point, "... for the next hour or so."

The woman scoffed and began stomping away, causing Seokjin to turn towards Taehyung in exasperation, "great. You just ruined a perfectly good one-night stand. Hope you're proud of yourself."

Again, Taehyung felt no remorse. He was having difficulty feeling anything at all at that point in the night. Now, he was trying to piece together all the events that had brought him to where he stood today, in a luxe brothel where he had just broken an angel's heart and also where he was throwing himself a personal pity party.

The Taehyung of last year would have had the time of his life in a place like this. But that Taehyung also carried a lot of animosity and darkness in his heart – a misinformed hatred for the privileged people of the world that had somehow slowly disintegrated over the past few months and evolved into understanding and compassion. Because of her. Everything that made him feel something – whether it was joy or sorrow – had become intricately tied to her.

"Taetae!" Jimin suddenly snuck up behind Taehyung and swung a friendly arm over his shoulder, the cheerful tone of his voice irritating the dark mood that had been brewing within Taehyung the entire night.

His forehead glistened with beads of sweat and a faint pink glow had spread across his cheeks, indicating that he had been physically exerting himself. Whether that was due to an activity of a sexual nature or dancing, Taehyung was not certain.

"Where is your princess?" the shorter man asked, looking around the room curiously while pouring himself a cold drink, "my – I mean, Lisa, would like to dance with her."