Hope for the Worst || Minsung

Fifteen

I've given up on desperately trying to avoid it. I can't believe I'm saying this but...

I like Minho.

Still, even if I can say that I like him, there's other factors that come into play. Hyunjin, for example, is a great friend and I wouldn't want to hurt him. Another thing is that, just because I like Minho, doesn't mean he has to automatically like me back. Not to mention our "blurry" past. I can't just go headfirst into confessing my feelings.

With a lot on my mind and half of a cookie on my plate, I hesitantly start my homework. There is no possible way that the answers I gave for each question are even remotely understandable.

After I finish my last bit of math homework, I mess around on my phone. A few minutes pass by. My phone buzzes and a notification pops up on my screen.

Unknown Number
Hey. I hope you don't mind, but I put your number in my phone. -Minho

Of course I mind, that's creepy as hell! I tap on the notification anyways.

Me
Why would you do that?

Unknown Number
Because your cute and I wanna get to know you better. That's all the reason I need.

I feel myself blush at the compliment and quickly add Minho to my contacts.

Minho💕
So how's your day going?

Still blushing, I continue to text Minho. My mom later calls me down to dinner. As much as I don't want to, I say goodbye to him and go downstairs to the kitchen.

"Hey, Jisung. How's it feel to be out of hibernation for a while?" my mom teases.

"Unusual, but nice."

"So will you come out of your room more often, then?"

"It's not that nice."

My mom laughs as I wash my hands. I don't really get out much. She always says I'm too reserved and that I should try meeting new people. I'd prefer not to because then I can't get hurt like my birth mom did. I refuse to end up like she did.

I dry off my hands and sit down at the table. The two of us say grace. I dig into the roasted chicken my mom prepared for us.

While eating, I can't seem to get Minho out of my head. He's so kind and- I swear- his giggle will someday be the death of me.

"Jisung? Are you okay?"

I snap out of my trance, "Huh? Sorry, what?"

"Honey, your face turned bright pink for a while there. I almost thought you stopped breathing or something."

"Oh. Uh-"

"Does my little baby have a crush?!" my mom interrupts me.

"I- no. I was just... thinking."

She doesn't seem to believe it. I wouldn't have been able to convince myself either. Thankfully, my mom lets it go and changes the subject.

After finishing up dinner, I go back upstairs. I still can't get him out of my mind. Is this what it's like to have a crush on someone?

Suddenly, thousands more questions flood my head, none of which I have clear answers to.

Does Minho like me back? Should I tell anyone? What would Felix think? What would my mom think? What if this actually isn't my sexual orientation? Does Minho even swing that way? Would my mom accept me? What about the entire school? Is this what I want? Does this make me happy?

There's too many questions. They're messing with my head and overwhelming me to the point of tears. With no other options, I do the only thing left to do. I cry.

I'm aware that I'm overdramatic. My mom always laughs at me about that. I never understood why my emotions seem to control me.

Tears pour out of my eyes as I pull my knees up to my chest and burry my face in my arms.

What's up with Minho anyways? Why did he have to turn into such a nice person? It wasn't supposed to happen this way.

Most people would be glad in this situation. Most people would want this to be the first chapter of their happy ending and hope for the best, that the past would vanish with a joyous little kiss.

I'm not a part of the majority though. I'm not glad about this situation. I don't want him to be my happy ending. I didn't want him to be in my story at all. I'm not hoping for the best in this.

So I'll just have to hope for the worst.