Hope for the Worst || Minsung

Fourty-Four

"Minho, we need to break up."

There. I said it. I finally said it.

Minho stares at me blankly, his face unreadable. He looks at me as if trying to find a sign or essence that let him know I'm joking. Some way to let him know that nothing's wrong. But something is wrong. Minho lied to me.

He gives up and his eyes get teary. "What did I do, Jisung? What do I need to fix for you?"

"Nothing. I just..." I trail off.

"C'mon. Please? I don't want to lose you. Please." Minho is on the edge of crying. No matter the amount of tears, though, he doesn't deserve the satisfaction.

"I'm sorry." I say, solemnly. I turn and walk away, ready to just be done for the day.

"Is this why you weren't on the bus yesterday or this morning?" Minho calls out through the hiccups.

I sigh and continue walking. He knows the answer, but it would only make it worse to hear it aloud. Worse for the both of us.

I go to science class feeling lighter in a weird way. A feeling of guilty happiness falls over me; nothing near euphoric, but it tries to be.

"So did you do it?" Felix asks when I sit down.

"Yeah. I broke up with him." I quietly say.

"But are you alright?"

"I think so." It's a question not even I could answer. I catch Hyunjin walking in right before science class properly starts. I hope he's happy. For some reason too, I hope he doesn't know.

Felix holds one arm around my shoulder throughout all of class. We've been through a lot together and this will hopefully only be something of the past.

Mr. Park announces the end of the school day and Felix and I go find Changbin's dark car.

"Hey, Binnie." Felix winks.

"Hey, Lixie." Changbin says back.

"Hey, Binnie." I mock.

"Hey, rodent." the eldest says flatly causing me to gasp dramatically at the ever-so rude comment. I crack a true smile for the first time today. Small things like these are just happy distractions, but they at least work for a short while.

Felix and I sit down in the car and Changbin starts it. Halfway through the calm drive, Felix jumps up in alert.

"Jisung? What are we supposed to do during lunch tomorrow?" he says. It takes me a second, but I soon understand what my friend is implying.

"Maybe we could just sit on the other side?" I say.

"I don't know," he says with a worried expression.

"Wait, what are you guys talking about?" Changbin asks from in front of the steering wheel.

"What if we went somewhere else?" Felix suggests.

I shake my head "no", dismissing the idea. "Where would we even go anyways? Subway's too far."

"No, I mean like just outside."

"Oh," I say. "That might work, actually."

"What are you two talking about?" Changbin says louder.

"Alright, we'll go with that, then." Felix gives me a thumbs up.

"What's happening?!" Changbin yells.

"I ask myself that everyday." Felix says with a sigh. Changbin rolls his eyes and we begin to approach my street.

"Alright, I'm dropping you off here, critter kid." Changbin says.

"Hey, keep that up and you'll run out someday." I say, getting out of the car. "Bye, guys."

"Bye, Jisung." the couple says in unison.

I walk up to my house and say hello to my mom before going upstairs. I lay down on my bed and struggle to refrain from screaming.

I actually broke up with Minho.

This is my second relationship, and just like that, down the drain with it for the exact same reasons as the previous partner. That was barely enough time together to even call it a relationship. This is how my life will always be, isn't it?

Just a bunch of lies.