Hope for the Worst || Minsung

Thirty-Three

"Look, I know it sounds a bit cliche, but I wanted to talk about us." Minho's says with uncertainty threaded through his voice.

"Okay," I look into his eyes from across the couch. "Where do we even start?"

"I'd suggest starting from the kiss."

I hesitantly nod in agreement.

Minho raises an eyebrow. "You said it was... 'cool'?"

"Let's not talk about that anymore." I add quickly.

"Sure." Minho laughs for a single second but I swear I could feel my heart and brain trade places.

"So what are we supposed to be? Just friends? More than that? Less?" I start to ramble in a slightly panicked voice. Minho takes a deep breath and forces his gaze onto mine. His stare is intense, but it's directed to me, not at me. I think I can take it.

"Jisung, I don't know if you're comfortable with this type of thing or not, and if not then I can respect that, but I want to be your boyfriend." Minho seems to tear up slightly, only to blink it away as soon as he notices. His irises pierce through my soul, expecting a response.

"I..." I begin to speak, but the right words just aren't there. "I want to also, but something feels... not right? I don't know how to explain it, I'm sorry."

Minho shows me sad frown but sighs soon after. "It's okay. I hate to admit it, but I think I understand what you mean." Disappointment is clear in his voice. He's sad. I don't like seeing Minho sad.

I never want to see a frown on his face. God, do I just wish Minho could be happy. Even more so do I want to be the cause of his happiness. I want to be the reason he wakes up in the morning and the one he thinks about before going to sleep at night. I want to be his everything. I want him to be my everything.

I want him to be

mine.

Screw the feeling in my gut, I know what I want.

"Well?" she asks me. "What do you say, Jisung?"

"I want to be your boyfriend." I say confidently. It's the first time I've ever said those words. The girl gives me one of her beautiful smiles and intertwines her fingers in mine.

Our relationship lasted for some amount of months, but the numbers soon became blurry as I tried to forget it. To forget her.

"I love you." she says happily.

"I love you too, babe." he tells her. "We're not going to let Jisung find out, right?"

My face heats up and my eyes begin to water. Clearing my throat before anyone can continue talking, tears roll down my face as I speak. "It's a little late for that."

Unsure of how to handle this new situation, I leave as fast as I can.

I never want to associate myself with her again.

Which is why

I've moved on from her.

I love someone else now.

I love Lee Minho.

"Minho?" I say, to which he looks up from the floor where his head previously hung. "I know what I said earlier, about something not feeling right, but I think that was complete bullshit."

Minho looks shocked from my change in mood. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that if anyone or anything says this won't go well, then we can create our own story to prove them wrong."

The brightest smile in the world appears in front of me. I return the energy with a grin not nearly as beautiful as the one before me. Taking a deep breath, I ask Minho the words that will change my life, for better or for worse:

"Would you be my boyfriend?"