Hope for the Worst || Minsung

Twenty

"What? Are you hurt? Does little Jisungie need his mommy?" Minho says while using his heel to strike me dead center in the gut. I scream louder.

"Aww... He's crying." says one of Minho's equally jerk-ish friends.

"Stop it, please!" my screech pierces through the air, reaching only the ears of those who don't care. My eyes burn from the tears and my skin burns from the kicking.

I cry and cry, but nothing happens. It looks like I'll be getting home late again.

"C'mon, Jisungie. Why won't you just die already?" Minho says.

In all honesty, I was thinking the exact same thing.

I manage to snap out of my trance. Minho seems to have noticed my absent mindedness and says to me,

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that. Are you okay, Jisungie?"

That word repeats in my head. That stupid name.

That stupid name my bully gave to me so long ago.

That stupid name was the last straw.

"Stop calling me that!" I scream.

Minho looks taken aback by my sudden outburst, but I couldn't care less.

"You've always called me that and I'd tell you to stop but you never did! Well, you know what? I'm done with it." Tears of anger are streaming down my face now.

Minho doesn't do anything but hang his head so I continue, "I don't understand you. You think I didn't remember middle school, huh?" The second those words leave my mouth, Minho's head snaps back up.

"You might've thought that I don't but I do. I remember every second of it. The kicking, punching, and yanking. The bleeding, bruising, and crying. I remember all of it and now, everyday, I get reminded of that pain that you caused me. And, of course, that stupid fucking name!" I scream each word, each one louder than the last.

"I always think to myself, 'he's changed', but every time I look back at you I just see the same old asshole that used to come this close to killing me everyday of my pitiful life. So what if you're different now? I will always remember the pain you caused me and I will always hate you, Lee Minho." This is what I needed; to get everything off of my chest. But looking back down at Minho makes me think otherwise.

Minho, somewhere in the middle of my mental breakdown, had fallen to the ground and started crying. I've never seen him cry before.

Even so, as I said earlier, I despise him. I just can't bare to see his face anymore.

But when I try to turn around, when I try to leave, something stops me. I can't do it. It won't let me?

In between the sobs, Minho whispers, "I'm sorry." He takes multiple deep breaths and turns to me, "I'm sorry, Jisung. I... Don't understand why I did that to you. I was never able to apologize and... and..." his words become less and less coherent as they turn into hiccups.

Instead of just doing what I should have done; instead of just walking away, I sit down next to Minho and wrap my arm around him. Knowing I made a bad decision to comfort Minho, I tear up again and lay my head on his.

There's nowhere for us to go right now. Everything that has ever happened between us is forgotten and remembered all at once with no time to catch a breath.

I wish I could say "Now that it's over," but let's be honest, that's one of the biggest lies that I've dealt with today.

From the looks of it, it'll only get worse.