Euphoria // Grunge One-Shots

Don't cry - Eddie Vedder

Eddie and the guys had just come back from tour. Tonight will be another show, a 'we're back in Seattle' kinda thing. I'm so happy for them to have come so far already and I can't wait to see them again.

They needed some time to unload everything and Eddie said he'd call me when he was free to meet up. The call just never came. Hours went by and Eddie still hadn't called. At first I thought he just needed more time than expected, but now I'm pretty sure he either forgot, or he doesn't want to see me. The latter just doesn't make sense, he would've said something before if there was a problem. We've been together for almost a year now and we've never had any real problems, if there was something that bothered one of us, we would speak up about it and talk it out.

Another 30 minutes pass before I decide to call Ed myself, but he doesn't answer. It's a good thing I know where their PJ-homebase is, 'cause I decide to go over to them. It takes me 15 minutes to reach the small garage they always store their stuff, but there's no one to be seen. I figure they're already at the venue for the show, so I head over to it.

"Jeff! Hey, how are you?" I say when I finally see one of the guys. Jeff turns and greets me with his usual smile. "Hey (Y/N), I'm good thanks! A bit tired, but nothing I couldn't handle. How are you? I haven't seen you for ages!" he says and hugs me.

I tell him I'm going fine, not mentioning my concern about Eddie. We talk for a bit longer, but he eventually needs to leave for his soundcheck. The evening drags by and in the mean time I've spoken to Stone, Dave and Mike as well. Eddie is still nowhere to be seen. I grow more concerned about him every second and when I ask the other guys about Ed, they tell me he's backstage preparing for the show, not showing any sign of concern. I suppose it's just me being overdramatic.

The first time I steal a glance of Eddie is when he's on stage, but his usual wild behaviour isn't there with him. He still rocks the show, but something's missing. It's like he's not himself, as if something's bothering him.

"Mikey, have you seen Ed?" I ask Mike after the show. I got backstage just before the end of the show, to prevent being trapped inside a huge mosh pit of sweat and alcohol. Also because I really want to see Eddie and talk to him.

Mike shrugs and leaves me be. I look around for a bit but once again, Eddie's nowhere to be seen. When I ask the others, they don't know either.

Something is definitely wrong. Eddie is always so energetic after a show and he never disappears just like that.

I notice a hall with multiple doors at each side. Each door has a small plate next to it with a name written on it. I cross two rooms, the plates saying 'Stone Gossard' and 'Jeff Ament' and when I reach the third door I see my boyfriend's name written on the board.

I knock on the door, but I get no answer. "Ed, you in there?" I ask, but once again, no answer.

A few minutes later I realise the door is unlocked and I slowly move to open the door. "Ed?" I ask quietly, I get no response, but I do get a sign of life. I hear someone sniffing and sobbing quietly. When I reach the part of the room where the sound comes from I'm shocked to see Eddie crying. I've never seen him cry and it honestly breaks me to see him like this. Especially right now, he should be happy! He just got back from an amazing tour and did a great job at tonight's show.

I rush over to him and sit next to him on the sofa. He has his face in his hands and leans his elbows on his knees. I quickly put my arm around him and slowly rub my hand on his back. "Ed, baby, what's wrong? Why are you crying?!"

Eddie doesn't say anything, he just leans into me, his head on my chest. I put my arm completely around him. "Alright, babe, let it all out then. It's alright, it's alright to cry." I tell him soothingly. I know it's useless to tell someone to stop crying when they are, it's best to let it all out then.

"Yeah, let it all go Ed. I'm here for you. You can always come to me if there's something wrong." I whisper, not daring to talk louder.

I put my hand in his hair and start playing with it, softly running my hand through it. After a while Eddie's sobs die down and he slowly moves back up to sit straight next to me. When he's sat up straight, I move my hand up to his face to swipe away the tears left on his face.

"Hey baby," I say softly, with a small smile, when he finally meets my eyes.

It takes him some effort to smile, but he does it anyway. "Hey,"

I move forward and peck his lips, they taste all salty because of the tears. When I move back, I move my hand upwards to his hair and run my hand through it once again. "I've missed you." I tell him.

Another tear escapes his eyes, "I've missed you too, (Y/N), so much."

"But that's not why you were crying, was it?" I ask him, with an apologetic smile resting on my face.

He looks down and slowly shakes his head, "I just-" he starts, but doesn't come much farther.

I lift his face up with my finger on his chin, "You can tell me, you know that right?"

"I know, (Y/N). It's just that it was all too much for me. All the shows and all, I needed some rest and when I didn't get it, I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I'm glad to be back, I'm glad you're here with me."

His words make me weak in my stomach. I feel bad for him not handling the stress, which I completely understand, but I feel happiness when he tells me he's glad to be back home, 'cause that's what I am: I'm glad he's home. I'm glad he's back here with me.

"Oh Ed, I love you. Don't ever scare me again like that, alright? Not calling when you're supposed to.. I thought you didn't want to see me again!"

Finally, Eddie let's out a chuckle, "Why would you ever think that? I love you, (Y/N). You're the one that keeps me going. I'm sorry I didn't call. I was just so stressed and- I don't know I guess I kind of forgot, I'm so sorry." He adds the last part with a sad expression on his face.

I brush my thumb against his cheek, "Don't be, I understand completely. I've got so much respect for what you do Ed. I've got so much respect for you. I'm just happy you're alright. And for the record: it's ok to be not ok sometimes."

Eddie smiles up at me and kisses me softly. "I don't deserve you."

"Oh you do. You deserve way more than this, actually." I say, gesturing to myself.