I can feel the remainders of last night pounding against my head as the sun heats my body, the sound of glasses slamming down on the bar top ring in my ear. Last night was a mistake. Shot after shot i can feel the burning in my throat, i've never drank like that except for the welcome home party. I hear a sigh and i sit up way too fast. The room spins and i see the person sat on the window bench. I look down and quickly cover my naked body. Evan turns to look at me. "Why am i here?" I stay quit and continue to look at her but she turns to look at the window.
"It was a comment you've heard a thousand times, i'm not okay knowing i'll never get to grow up and have kids, marriage isn't even possible and it hurts to know that i waited all this time to finally find out the one thing i was looking for is taken. Getting married and didn't even bother to tell me and the worse part, the one i waited for is about to spend his day being babied and puking his memory of last night away." I try to speak but she gets up and holds her hand up. The room spins faster and i can feel my stomach turn. "Stop, please. I'm trying to find a reason to stay. I really am Zayn. I can;t fight for you anymore, you're not mine to fight for." She closes the door and everything pushes up and i fumble to the bathroom and do just as she said.
Losing the energy to go after her i pass out. Dreamless, comfortless, Evan-less sleep. The look on her face was disappointment, i couldn't see her eyes but i didn't have to to feel her hurting. The shaking in her voice, the rattling in her weak chest. I felt everything and all i did was sit there, holding in the dizziness. This isn't how i planned this tour would start off.
I can't fight for you anymore, you're not mine to fight for. Her words run around and round my mind. What did she mean? Was she trying to take me away from Perrie? Is that what she's planning?
"What about that one?"
"Eh i give her a 6." Evangeline says and stuffs another bite of pizza in her mouth. I look around the food court for another girl.
"Okay, how about blonde at McDonald's?"
"Maybe a 6."
"You've said 6 to the past twenty!"
"Okay okay a low seven ,,, a very low 7."
"Hmm," i look around and i see the pole behind her has a reflective side and the perfect opportunity comes. "Okay how about that one behind you?" She turns and looks anywhere else but straight.
"Who?"
"That beaut right there, you can't miss her."
"Zayn i see no one."
"Her right there, black hair maybe hip length with beautiful brown eyes and a smile that could stop traffic." She catches on and i see her blush as she looks at her reflection. "See her?" She looks down. "Wow, who knew someone so beautiful existed. Bet she has a laugh that makes a dying man smile, oh and legs for days. Tell me you see her now." She turns around and i grab her hand holding it in the middle of the table. "There she is." She blushes again and i smile.
"Stop traffic huh?" She bites her lip and i feel my heart race.
***
Dinner comes around and it's quiet, feeling like hours have gone by. When i look at the time, i've only been sitting for ten minutes. I keep looking at the doors waiting for her to come rolling in but nothing. She won't answer her phone. When i was able to get up by noon she wasn't in her room, nor was Harry and Liam. I ask around but all i get was a shrug of shoulders and voice mails. I sit at the table listening to the clanking dishes and turning my food around the plate. She knows about the engagement, how long has she known, who told her, how did she feel? That's all i can think about. The headache i woke up with is growing and more questions are forming. I barely notice Liz walk in and i practically jump out of my seat. I race over to her and take one of the two plates from her hand.
"Where's Evangeline?" I whisper as i fill the plate with foods i know Evan likes.
"She isn't feeling well." i roll my eyes and curse in my mind. Stubborn as ever.
"Where were you guys, why didn't anyone answer their phones? You don't have to cater to her you know." I couldn't have added more attitude in one sentence. Liz stops and turns to me with a steaming anger.
"What is wrong with you? When i say she doesn't feel well i mean it, she can't get up she's so fatigued it hurts. I told her i could get her dinner. If the phones worked in the room i would have gotten her room service." Her yelling makes the room silent with nosy people. "Let me help you remember, she has cancer." She turns and walks away and i'm left feeling like an asshole. i compose myself and walk to the elevators and dodge a few fans sneaking into the hotel.
"We were with Liam and Harry. They actually got out of bed and asked if we would join them. I bet you don't have a trace of last night." I swallow the growing lump in my throat. "You came banging on the room door yelling at her. Telling her how she fucked up how she didn't fight for you. Zayn how the fuck is she going to fight for you when she can't fight for herself." Tears form in her eyes and the elevator door opens. She steps out and continues to talk. "They gave her 6 months, 6 months Zayn. She tried and tried to hide the pain from me but i see it, i can hear it. She's hurting and you yelling last night made her hurt more. Yelling that you loved her, that you needed her and she knowing it was only the bottle of alcohol in you. Niall apologized for you, for letting you get so sloppy."
"Six months?" Is all i can get out.
"This is it Zayn and she's risking everything being here. I don't know why she insisted on making sure you were okay this morning Evan was so weak, was so down they wanted to take her out for a distraction and let me tell you Zayn." Her tears keep coming. "She smiled, she laughed and she hid her pain because she wanted to stay out more. She can't have another day like this Zayn and you need to fix it or i have no choice but to take us back home." Liz turns leaving me standing alone closing the door in my face.
I'm losing my best friend, I'm losing my other half, I'm losing my puzzle peice that completes me. I'm losing Evangeline.
I knock on the door and Liz almost shuts it in my face. I hold it open and silently beg her. With a shake of her head she lets me in and i'm caught off guard when i see Harry. He's sitting in the chair next to her bed on his phone and Liz continues to talk to him. I see the lump under the covers slowly breathing and the IV beep. i pull the covers back and chills raise on her skin and i slide in next to her. I wrap her in my arms and warm her up as much as i can. "If this is Liz i don't think i feel the same way." I chuckle and she frowns still with her eyes closed.
"What's wrong?" i whisper. Her lips quiver and her nose flushes red, i hold her tighter as a tear roles down onto the pillow.
"Leave me alone." Her heart monitor starts to raise and Liz clears her throat.
"I'm sorry. Please." i beg her and i feel her body give into my arms.
"Everything hurts, i feel achy and not just a little. I can't turn over, i can't cough, and it's freezing." I don't tell her that it's actually feels like it's hundred and ten in here and she's wearing a thick sweater under heavy blankets. I hold her tighter and almost put her in a cradling position picking her up in my arms. I look at Harry and he takes the hint leading Liz out with him. I feel her tears shake her body and i look up trying to keep the tears in, not letting them drop. I kiss the top of her head and take a deep breath. "I'm scared Zayn." She cries and i rock us back and forth and i feel her grip my shirt tighter.
"I'm so sorry, if i could take your pain i would baby girl. You're going to get through this, you're my infinite. You're strong remember. Please don't cry." I can't hold them back, feeling her bony body and hearing the weeping in her lungs as they come out in tears, "I love you, I love you so much it hurts. I've been such an ass i forget how lucky i am to have you." She looks at me and i her.
"Don't let me go." She whispers and i feel it. The pull, the attraction, the magnetism in the atmosphere. I can't, don't.
My body defies me and i lean in, connecting our lips holding her cold smooth face pressing into the kiss with her. The butterflies and tingling in my finger tips explode. She pulls away and i slowly open my eyes and she leaves hers close. I'm speechless only able to continue tasting the sweet essence of her lips on mine as she curls deeper into my chest and all i can do is hold her tighter.
