Once i saw a movie about Stephen Hawking called The Theory of Everything and from there it was clear on who i wanted to be and what the goal in my life was. Stephen was diagnosed with ALS, a form of Motor Neurone Disease, shortly after his 21st birthday. In spite of being wheelchair bound and dependent on a computerized voice system for communication Stephen Hawking continued to make a family, he has three children and three grandchildren now, his research into theoretical physics with an extensive programme of travel and public lectures lead him to a life only one can dream, success. What got me was that he said he still hopes to make it into space one day. Never did he complained of pain or wallowed in depression, Stephan Hawking never stayed home as it became harder to get around. Not once did he give up. After he was told he would only have two years to live he pushed himself to finish his theory, to pursue a degree, love, and a family. Stephen Hawking is 72 and just published his second book.
When i was 17 i was told they've never seen a cancer spread so fast, especially a soccer player, concert going, run loving girl, who just months ago she was winning a second place trophy in track. No one told Stephen Hawking that he was going to be basically paralyzed and no one told me i was going to be stuck in a hospital room till i was 21. Twenty one was the age he was brought into a new life of perseverance and struggles, twenty one was the age i finally got to get out of that 10 by 10 foot room and into a new life. Stephan had love, he had Jane Wilde, like Stephan himself she never gave up on him, even when she found he was ill. Jane Wilde didn't leave him or cringe at the sight of Stephen's slowly paralyzing body. She was his light to hope, to happiness and in a way i feel Zayn is my Jane Wilde. Although they divorced they still remained close and very much happy and i'm okay with Zayn and i having the same outcome. It may have took some time but it is what it is.
What he did i can never forget, i could never thank him enough because for a moment i felt like the plan i envisioned for the future happened. I pretended i was a roadie, a groupie with my best friend's band and most of all i pretended i was going to see the best years of my life after all. The first time i saw them in concert i will always cherish that moment. Feeling the air leave my body and the screams vibrate my bones. I wish i just could have enjoyed the time with him more. There's a saying that can only describe life, "God just sits back and laughs at ones who make plans." It was more of a cackle in my opinion. Hearing that saying was the one thing i needed to make my decision, my decision to roll with the punches and see where life takes me. At 17 i thought i was going to be like Stephen Hawking and make a big mark on the world to be the longest living cancer patient, or the fastest recovering leukemia case. Like i said, he laughed.
Four years of good and bad news thrown at you, making you forget which way is up. The numerous hours of chemo therapy and bending over to throw up nothing because you couldn't get anything to stay down. Four long years of watching your body take a tole on the life that was given to you. The hair that you once dyed a thousand times is now becoming nonexistent. The moments you remember moaning about having to walk to the kitchen and back now you beg for a day to be able to walk around the earth. Four years of watching your best friend do exactly what you planned to happen. It seems like that was the only plan that went right. Well part of it.
Waking up with aches and pains at 21 was not was i envisioned but i just have to keep rolling. In a literal sense i guess i was rolling with the punches because how else would i bruise out of nowhere? To put it in an understanding way remember a time when you had just gotten sick. Relentlessly opening your eyes in the morning and instantly you feel that aching in your body, that aching that just makes you want to curl up in a ball under the sheets even though the sweat on your forehead begs for cool air. But just when you think you'll be exempt from school your mom comes in and gives you the clear just because the fever just hasn't hit yet. And all you can do is get up, get out, and try. All i had to do was get up, get out, and try.
