I Like My Women | JohnTen NCT

~ 20 ~

A/N Angst warning. Because Angst is angst.

Ten did not know what was wrong. He kept reading over his texts with Johnny over and over again to see if he had slipped up. Yet, he found nothing. Dread built up and he wished he could gain courage to talk to him. But he had none.

He just wanted his questions answered. Why was Johnny mad? What was wrong with him? Was Johnny mad at him?

Did he find out?

As the fear of losing Johnny as a friend grew, Ten felt himself losing all sanity. He couldn't think nor breath properly anymore, just like the state he was in yesterday. The bottled up emotions could not stay at bay anymore.

And just like that, the emotions came pouring out with meaningless tears. And why meaningless? Because Ten knew he was going to get hurt. So why would he be crying if he knew this was going to happen?

The answer to that was unknown at the time. Ten just knew that he cared for Johnny and hoped that he would at least be friends with him. However, what he was anticipating made the outcome he wanted not possible at all. In fact, he knew Johnny would hate him. He knew Johnny would hate him as soon as he found out.

Ten cried for an hour, not wanting to eat, drink or cry himself to sleep again. He couldn't even stop to think about that amazing date he had with Johnny the day before. This was because he knew that there was a possibility that that date may have been the last time he would be mutual friends with Johnny.

There was no way out of this.

Ten knew sooner or later he would be confronted and he dreaded for that moment to come.

***

5 days later...

"Hey."

Mark broke the deafening silence at the table. He was eating slices of watermelon and Johnny was eating cereal. Recently, Johnny had not uttered a word, ate barely anything and stayed in his room for the whole day except for bathroom breaks and that 1 meal he had in the morning. He even called off "sick" from work so he didn't have to leave.

Johnny replied to Mark's greeting with silence.

"Are you still mad at me?" Mark asked, answered by the glare he got straight after. "Okay fine. I'm still really sorry regardless. Please just talk to me."

Silence greeted him again.

"Do you seriously have to mute me out of your life? How is it that this one mistake is what caused you to be like this again?"

Johnny slammed a fist on the table. He let out a sharp exhale and stared Mark in the eye. "It's because that one mistake made me think we could be something. Too bad that he is a he."

Getting up from the table, Johnny pushed away his chair and walked up the stairs lazily to go back to his room. Mark watched guiltily and didn't bother to finish his watermelon.

Once Johnny got to his room, he slammed the door. He was enraged: a pit of fire that never went out. But he was also heart broken: a glass that had been shattered and could never return to it's original form. With all these emotions, Johnny felt numb. He felt nothing because he felt everything. However, after an hour of pain, Johnny wanted to get things done and done with. It was time to confront Ten. To stop the pain. To end the suffering. Hopefully.

He reluctantly picked up the phone and scrolled through his contacts, Ten being at the top since he was the last person he texted. Pressing the name, he texted these exact words:

"Meet me in the Park at 11:00. We need to talk."

After typing the message, Johnny's finger hovered over the send button and he held his breath as he pressed the button, sighing once it was done. It was finally happening. Ten was going to be exposed for the liar he was.

But was Johnny happy about this?

Fuck no.

***

The two got dressed in their comfy clothes, practicing how they should present themselves in front of each other. Should they act mad? Sad? Bored? Neither of them new, and both decided to just go with the flow and nothing could pOsSiBlY go wrong.

Ten decided to wear a unisex outfit because he knew he couldn't go out in regular men's clothes and he just wasn't feeling very girly that day. (If you haven't caught on, Ten doesn't like dressing up when he feels sad and/or stressed).

Johnny, on the other hand, wore normal everyday clothes and tried his best to not look as angry as he was then. After brushing his hair, he was out the door.

The two walked solemnly to the park, dreading the outcomes of this talk. They both knew that they were gonna get hurt and didn't care. Once they both made it to the park, they saw each other straight away.

Their eyes met, but they immediately looked away, not wanting to meet each other's gaze. The atmosphere was very awkward as if they had never met each other, as if they were strangers. Johnny was the first to speak up.

"Hi."

Ten kept his eyes on the floor. "Hey."

Silence was brought upon them. The deafening silence was so painful that Johnny decided to come clean straight away, not wanting this awkward atmosphere to distract him from what he was really there for.

"Look," Johnny said, looking at Ten as he spoke, "There is no way I can let you down easy. I can't believe you had the audacity to lie straight to my face."

"It was your fault to begin with! I mean, it was kinda obvious that I was a guy during that halloween party. This never would have happened if you had just looked past the wig."

Johnny scoffed, "Well it would have been nice of you to tell me that you were a guy! I'm sorry that my detective skills aren't on point when I am dead ass drunk."

Sucking in a sharp breath, Ten kept his gaze on the floor. "It was never my intention to lie to you!"

"Then what exactly were you getting at? Were you just going to use me like one of your boy toys?" Johnny replied quickly afterwards, furrowing his eyebrows. "Admit that you never cared about my feelings."

"What if I do care about you?" Ten snapped back. "I never knew I would care for you this much and I didn't know I would end up liking you. I would have told you weeks ago if I knew I wouldn't get attached but look where we are now!"

"Do you think I would have cared so much if I knew I wasn't going to be so attached? I actually liked you, Ten," Pausing, Johnny looked away from him. "but I didn't fall for you. I fell for the mask you showed me."

Ten wanted to protest but failed to find courage to. He held in a stray tear and never left his gaze on the floor. "So I guess I'm never gonna talk to you again."

"I guess," Johnny sighed, the atmosphere growing awkward again. "It's not like I ever cared about you anyway."

"I can say the same to you."

Ten turned his back to Johnny, walking away slowly. He raised his hand and waved it slightly, saying goodbye to the man he once liked. "Sayonara, bitch."

Johnny scoffed at the childish remark and walked away in the opposite direction.

_________________ 
A/N oof
Angst will be angst.

Moving on from that, for those people who watched undernineteen, JAY GOT FUCKING ELIMINATED. JAY. Yeah! With those powerhouse vocals and those visuals he got eliminated. Screw those knetz. Screw everything. Jay deserved the world and he got eliminated.

After the first mission.

The first fUCKING mission.

Survival shows hurt.

K bye...