Trauma -BoyxBoy-

Twelve

The next day I tried to talk to Josh when he showed up and once again he walked past and didn't say anything, he wasn't even going to pay me the time of day!

We were sitting at the lunch table, except for Josh who was sitting at a table across the cafeteria with some of his other friends. I tried to stop myself from looking over to them but every so often I found my attention on their table.

"So what's going on with you and Josh?" Max said from next to me inbetween bites of his chicken sandwich, probably taking notice to how many times I've looked over there sighing. I didn't answer immediately so he spoke again "Dude he doesn't meet us in the mornings and he isn't sitting here and he doesn't talk to you in the halls..." he trailed off

I looked down wishing I could avoid the question. "I don't know, maybe he wanted a bit of a change," my phone said, Sebastian gave me a knowing look from across the table.

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Thursday afternoon Sebastian and I were in my room chilling together. I had been so stressed all week since it felt like hell, Mitch's friends pestered me all day every day for getting Mitch suspended even though it was his own fault for bullying me, and Josh still refused to speak a word to me. The entire week I had been getting tons of messages from the unknown number but I was too scared to tell anyone. My mom would probably uproot us and force us to move away but surprisingly I don't want that, but I was scared that doing that might bring consequences later.

Even so, as the days went on Sebastian and I grew closer, I think it was mainly because of how distressed I was from everything going on in my life. I had started getting more touchy with him and we had long since advanced from just hand holding. He was still the only person I let do so. I had begun to doubt myself again though.

I sat with him there, the tv was on but I paid no attention, having gone too deep into the abyss that is my mind, thinking about why I am the way I am, a bucket full of boiling water just waiting to bubble over, and I wanted to so bad. My emotions have been boiling up for so long and I wasn't ready to let it all out but now I feel like I should. I need to pull away from the figurative shackles chaining me to the past.

"What are you thinking about?" Sebastian asked, turning his attention from the TV to me.

"Nothing" I responded, shaking my head

"Nah, you're deep in your thoughts I can tell"

I sighed, I guess he can read me like an open book, I mean its almost like he read my mind, it'd be better to spill to him if anyone.

"Well, I just was thinking about what brought me to be like this..."

"Like what? An amazing guy? A beautiful person?"

I blushed slightly but informed him of my thoughts, "I was thinking more along the lines of a pathetic, ugly excuse for a human being"

He pulled me closer to his chest and muttered, "I don't think so..."

I breathed in deeply, trying to muster up the courage to tell him, and shortly after I started typing out the long message. Sebastian hummed quietly and watched my hands move as I typed.

When my fingers finally stopped moving I pressed the button to read my text aloud, listening as the text to speech resounded through the room, I closed my eyes leaning back into him in some ways fearing his response.

"Nobody knows this except for the people in my old town and well my family of course, but when I was fourteen, back in Oradell I was walking home after hanging out with my friends and three men grabbed me and threw me into their van. I tried to fight them off but they outnumbered me and knocked me out. I woke up later in some dirty basement... I was kept there for about two years..."