Trauma -BoyxBoy-

Twenty-Six

I know Talons dialogue may be hard to read, but I've written it like this to display how his voice is at the moment, lots of pauses, stuttering and the like. He will progress but if you don't understand something then ask and I will be sure to clarify. Thank you for reading!

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"I could stay here holding you like this forever," Sebastian mumbled, pulling me into his chest. I grinned, I was so lucky.

We were laying together in my bed, cuddling. He had picked me up from my counsellor visit earlier. Mr. Turner said next session we'd be getting in deep and that I should prepare to recount my experience, he said we were going to try to get me to recover from the trauma. 

I was scared.

I asked him if I could bring a friend, and after he figured out it was Sebastian he said I could if I liked. I still hadn't decided if I was going to ask Sebastian to come with me though... I still haven't even told him I was raped.

Now I'm thinking too much... I need to take a shower before those men come back into my head. I wished he could hold me forever.

I slowly tried pulling his closed hands apart, they were wrapped around my waist in a hugging style. Sebastian just clasped harder and pulled me closer.

"What are you doing?" He asked sleepily, his husky voice prominent. He was tired, he had a long hard day at practice while I was at my counselling session.

I cleared my throat. "...I'm- I'm Tr...ying to go show...wer"

"Awh cant it wait? I'm comfy," Sebastian pouted. I smiled at him and his childlike attitude at the moment. when I first moved here I would never have expected this boy to have a side like this, in fact, I thought he might be an arrogant fuck boy type, but that was before I saw his kindness and how protective he was of other kids in the school. I was glad now that he was my boyfriend.

"No... Now, I feel dir...ty" I insisted.

"Ah fine," he grumbled, releasing his hold on my waist. I chuckled, grabbing some sweats and a loose t-shirt from my closet, turning to see Sebastian replace me with one of my pillows.

I left my dark bedroom and entered the hallway, it was only eight thirty-something at night, not too late but still late. My brother was in his room, probably sleeping since he's lazy, and my mom was out working late.

I turned on the faucet to warm water, undressing while facing opposite of the mirror like always. I got under the water and began to lather with soap.

My thoughts were racing still, especially with the added feeling of brushing my hands and fingers over all the scars while I was applying soap. I always tried not to look at them when I was showering but I couldn't help it. They were literally head to toe. Some reminded me of Mitch and some of the basement.

Though the water was hot I felt cold...

I frowned.

Thinking back... Sebastian still doesn't know that I'm not a virgin... He doesn't know that I am tainted. I've lied to him... He only knows I was kidnapped but not what I did down in that place. The dirty things I did for those men.

I'm a stupid ugly whore...

Tears slipped out of my eyes and I cursed myself for crying. They mixed in with the water from the shower head.

I'm a crybaby too, lovely.

I slipped my fingers over my hip, the raised skin there making my tears fall faster. I didn't have to look to know what it was...