Forget Me Not (Klance)

Chapter 6, Hoping

"Sir, I'm afraid she has Cancer" I listened to the Doctor, "4th stage".

The words didn't register correctly, my world blaring out, my vision was blurry, how could this happen? How was this possible? Why did God hate me? What was I supposed to tell the kids, Marco and Veronica were only 10. How could I let them live without a mother?

"Chemotherapy is the only option we have.... " She continued. "I know you're upset sir-"

"Do it! Do whatever you can!" I snapped, tears spilling out my eyes. "Just try, try anything!" I panicked. "I just want a chance for her" I hiccupped.

"Yes sir" She immediately went away.

I held my hands in my face, sobbing. Why? Why, why, why, why? I hit the bench hard, a couple of nurses jumped.

"I hate this" I laughed like I was crazy. I felt crazy, this all felt like some fucked up dream. This was just a terrible dream, it had to be, just a nightmare, Kathina couldn't be dying. She was fine a week ago, how could something this horrible come out of life. She was all I had, all I loved, no one knew her like I did, no one knew me like she did. 15 years of marriage, she was barely 40. This wasn't fair.

"She's ready" The nurse told me, waking me from my thoughts.

I ran as fast as I could into that room, pulling up a chair. I could see the hurt in her eyes, my heart breaking.

"Hey... " She smiled, her lips wavering in pain.

"Hey" I smiled as much as I could, trying to hide my pain.

"Don't smile like that... I know you're hurting" She squeezed my hand, "I know you know" She lifted a hand and caressed my cheek.

Tears came out my eyes like an uncontrolled waterfall. I could barely see her through them, I put my head into the hospital blanket and sobbed on her lap. I didn't want to let go of her, I didn't want her to go, I wanted us to grow old together.

"I know" Her voice soft an comforting, as she ran her fingers through my hair. "I k-know.... I'm s-sorry Lance" She cried, kissing my head multiple times. "I'm so sorry" She wept.

"I d-don't want you t-to" I breathed.

"W-what?"

"To go... I want y-you to stay here... With me" I sobbed hard. "Kathina.. "

She shook her head. "I don't want to go on Chemo" She said, breathing out.

"W-what?" I lifted up, crying. "Why?"

"There's no p-point on giving false hope... I'm dying... There's only a small chance I'll live... " She laughed like it was a joke.

"Don't say t-that"

"I'm dying, get into reality Lance!" She shouted through tears.

I froze, memories played through my head. I shook my head. "Stop" I pleaded.

"I wish this was a dream, it's not" She laughed more. "I want to wake up as much as you do" She looked up.

"Fine.. " I got angry. "What are you g-gonna do, just sit here and die??" I gulped.

She held my hand, looking at out connected hands. "I just want to live out the rest of my life... Normally, to be with you and the kids, not stuck i-in.... This hospital bed!" She gestured her hands toward the room. "I just want you to pretend I'm n-not dying, that I'm here... Everything's fine, I want it to be n-normal" She sobbed.

I looked in her eyes, pain filled my heart, "Is this what you really want?" I asked.

"Yes"

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