Feelings exposed

We argue

   
                                                                          We argue 
Sometimes we do
and sometimes I find myself in sudden fear that you'll just get sick of me.
 Sick of arguing, sick of picking up some empty thoughts and vague mistakes, sick of looking at the person who's just trying to grow, sick of finding all the negative in her instead of telling her that maybe her feelings shouldn't be for show.  Maybe you're sick of her being sick.

Validate the way I see things, even if it's not so great. Help me trust you more because sometimes I can't relate, I can't see what you mean or where you're coming from because I'm just so used to people walking all over me
I don't ask for you to save or help me but I'm not the only one falling, as I pick up every bone you leave behind I think I'm starting to lose my spine, I lose my last nerve and begin to think
maybe it is all because of me.
Maybe all your unkind words are true and maybe deep down you don't think I deserve you

But I need to know if you're here to stay because I wake up late everyday trying to prolong any of the time I may have left.
 My brain thinks the more I stay in bed, the less I'll find all the messed up things in my head.
I try not to be like her, but lately that's all you've called me out for.

I understand being with me isn't easy but being 'us' isn't the lovely green grass beneath the floor, it's showing each other what we're fighting for
 and lately I've fallen into a fight with myself
 just constant blame and sudden doubt. I feel like I'm crumbling and I don't know what to do.
 I have nothing but love and hope for us and you. But I'm absolutely terrified that I'm the one to blame if maybe in the future you don't feel the same.