Me, My Cigarette, and The World

9- Unlikely turn of events.

(Damon's POV)

I don't like this feeling. I don't like this pit in the bottom of my stomach that's pulling me all the way down to the ground. Graham is mad at me and it's really hard to think I was so stupid. I know he's shy and I know he deals with things differently than I do. I shouldn't have made fun of him.

On the bright side, at least I know that he's attracted to me. I've been lounging around the apartment naked and wearing the tightest clothes I have in my suitcase to try and get his attention. There are no doubts that Graham is extremely attractive and I know that I shouldn't be trying to sleep with him because I need a place to stay, but I can't help it. Everything he does drives me insane in a good way.

I step outside the apartment building and sink into my jacket a little more. It's a lot colder than I expected it to be, but I can manage until I get to the bar. I made sure to clean up a bit before I left as somewhat of a peace offering. I focus on the cloud leaving my lips in the chilly air and it reminds me of cigarettes and how Graham smokes them. It's like he's breathing his life away. I guess he is, but he makes a point to enjoy every second of it. I'm worried about him. Something's wrong but I know he's never going to tell me. I need to find the bar.

I try to retrace my steps and remember what turns we had to take and what streets we went down to get there. Finally, I'm standing in front of the dimly lit building with a half finished cigarette hanging loosely from my bottom lip. I throw it into a pile of snow and carry myself in, taking a seat in the exact same spot as last time.

What surprised me most about coming here again was the fact that Heather was here as well, sitting in the exact same corner as last time, tucked behind a few of her friends. I duck my head with the intent of her not noticing me. It's not that I don't want to speak to her, it's just that she's not Graham. I order myself a drink as an older man sits beside me and begins to complain to the bartender about married life and how hard it is.

"Why don't you get a divorce?" I ask him. It's so simple. He sounds as if he absolutely hates her and he's not even drunk yet. I don't understand why people over-complicate everything. It just makes their life harder than it has to be.

"It's not that easy mate." He pauses to sigh. "We've built a life together. We have kids. You wouldn't understand." And there it is. He thinks I'm nothing but a child. I don't particularly like being talked down to if I'm being honest. I'm not a teenager. I understand relationships and how they work and I also understand that life only gets better for you if you get rid of the negatives.

"It is that easy. You both get your share of money and you're off. Do joint custody of the kids and the most you'll speak to her is when you have to pick them up." I shrug. It's the obvious answer to what he needs.

"Even though I might sound like I hate her, my wife and I love each other. We don't always show it and sometimes I do want to divorce her, but I can't just up and leave like that. We've spent too much time together for being apart to feel natural." He tells me and I roll my eyes. The way he was talking about her earlier could have had me fooled. You don't talk about someone you love like that.

I turn around to look at Heather again and she finally notices me and motions me over to her. Picking up my drink, I drift towards her and the large group she's standing with. I remember a few of these girls from last time I was here but their names don't come easy to me. Heather wraps her arms behind my neck as soon as I'm close enough.

"You never called, you dolt." She giggles airily as I hold her waist. Before that man had left me annoyed, I was only focused on staying out of the house so Graham wouldn't be angry with me anymore, but now I need to let off some steam and I know just the way I'm going to do it.