Me, My Cigarette, and The World

10- In which Graham catches on.

(Graham's POV)

Warmth. That's what I feel when I wake up. It's not the kind of warmth that makes you want to tear off your blankets and cool off but it's the kind that make's you want to stay where you are forever and that's what I plan to do, until I notice an arm lying across my waist that is.

I open my eyes to be met with a very blurry Damon and I realize that my glasses are gone and I have no recollection of ever taking them off in the first place. I sit up and rub at my eyes before blinking rapidly to make sure that this is not a dream. When I open them, Damon is still there, sleeping. He looks almost angelic like this. Funny how I say the exact opposite while he's awake.

I stumble to the coffee table at the foot of the bed and manage to find and put on my glasses. "Goodmorning." I hear Damon's raspy morning voice from behind me and I struggle to find it in me to turn around and face him. I still haven't really gotten over yesterday if I'm being completely honest. That was just way too traumatizing. But somehow, I go against my better judgement and turn around.

"W-Where di-did you go l-last night?" I ask. Not the best way to greet someone in the morning, but all the confidence I had in me when I wanted to talk to him originally has drained and now I'm a nervous mess that just wants answers.

"I thought I'd get out of the house for a few hours, y'know? I felt bad. I'm sorry about yesterday by the way." He tells me and I just nod. A few hours would have been fine, but he was gone all night and he never told me where he was going or what he was doing. I was so scared that he had gotten hurt or he just wasn't coming home.

"You could have at least t-told me w-where you were going." I mutter as I carry myself to the kitchen. He follows closely behind me and when I turn around to face him, he's nervously playing with his hands and picking at his hangnails. What could he possibly be nervous about?

"I didn't think you wanted to see me." He sighs as he looks down at his feet. I didn't want to make him feel bad. I'm deciding now that I never want to make him feel bad for anything because watching him stare at the ground with a sorry and guilty expression on his face is too much for me.

"I-" I really didn't want to see him at first yesterday, but now I'm just happy he's okay. I'm glad to see him. It kind of scares me how drastically different my emotions can be towards Damon. I'm worried that I'm beginning to develop feelings for him and that all this nervousness isn't just coming from me wanting his body. "I was w-worried about y-you." I might as well just admit it so he can laugh at me all he wants for caring. He hugs me instead.

I flinch and tense up but he continues to hold me until I melt into his touch and even wrap my arms around him. He smells like stale cigarettes and beer and I want to tell him to take a shower but this is a pleasant hug and I wouldn't want to ruin the moment. He rubs smooth circles into my back as I finally realize that this is really happening. I fight myself from slipping into a smile.

When he pulls away I manage to hide any trace of joy from my face and I think it works because Damon frowns a bit but I watch him brush it off. "Any plans for today?" He asks as he crosses his arms and leans back on the granite counter top. I search the cabinets for coffee filters only to realize that there's none left. I shake my head in response to Damon's question as I grab two tea bags and coffee mugs and set up the kettle.

"Wonderful! We can go see the new Disney movie that came out!" He cheers with a smile that reaches his eyes. My mind wanders and I think of what were to happen if this were going to be a date. I blush and avoid looking at him as I try to shake the embarrassing thoughts out of my head.

"That would be nice." I say politely because it would. I imagine holding his hand or him gently gripping my thigh and it causes me to blush even harder. He makes me a lot more nervous than I usually am and for once I don't mind it all that much. I think I need to tell him that I feel some kind of attraction towards him but I know I'll second guess myself and I won't. But what if I tell him now? I mean, there's no harm in being honest with him and the worst that could happen is that he moves out. That would suck but I'd get through it, right?