Me, My Cigarette, and The World

17- familiarity.

(Graham's POV)

Today is finally the day Damon and I leave for my parent's house. We've rented a car to drive since flights are expensive around this time of year. We're going to probably drive straight through. It's a four hour car ride and we both made sure we had enough cds to get us through the silent twisting roads. This drive generally does make me nervous. Especially with how fast transport truck drivers can barrel down that highway.

"Did you grab the snacks?" Damon asks as he throws his duffel bag into the trunk. I nod as I double check everything from the front seat. My sketch book lies on my lap with some pencils and pencil crayons and there's cheese and crackers in a Tupperware at my feet. We're just about set to leave and my nerves begin to set in. I keep telling myself that I still have another eight hours before I have to see my family, but I know it's going to be awful.

I really do hope that they just assume Damon is my boyfriend so I don't have to actually verbalize anything. That would just be terrible if I have to explain to my parents and siblings that I now like men and will never have any children. That's going to hit my mom hard. She wants grandchildren so badly. My brother gave her a little bundle of joy to fawn over and so did my sister. I have yet to meet either of their children. I didn't even get a call when they were born. That's when I realized I was truly the black sheep of the family.

Now we finally hit the road. I look out the rear window and watch my apartment building shrink the further Damon takes us. An acoustic guitar Alex gave us sits in the backseat. Damon practically begged me to take it and I just couldn't say no. I was on board with the idea in the first place because I know when the time comes for me to drive, he'll be serenading me. I hate driving but it makes it easier for me to not flat out refuse doing it.

All this has made me realize is that Damon has convinced me to not run away anymore. It was always my go to solution. I'm always running. I'm so tired of it though. All these years of thinking that my London apartment would be it for me are finally over. There's life outside. I'm almost willing to live it. I know Damon will be my final push to it. I open my sketch book and begin to doodle with the warm fuzzy feeling still in my chest.

"I hope your parents get you a puppy for christmas. Like, imagine this ride but with a puppy. Instantly better." Damon speaks after almost two and a half hours of silence. It makes me crack up a bit and shake my head. That would be an awful idea but I can let him dream.

"Let's just focus on getting there, yeah?" I smile and he laughs from the driver's seat. I'm in a great mood for once but there's still a nervous pit in my stomach. What if my family doesn't approve of our relationship and kicks us out? How will Damon even feel about me if that happens? The thought of him leaving because something my parents might do only brings me pain and it hasn't even happened.

"Something's wrong." He says quietly as he looks over to me. I look back. I desperately want to tell him to keep his eyes on the road but even if I did it wouldn't stop him. His blue eyes pierce into mine before he looks back to the highway. "It's going to be okay Graham. They're probably happier to see you than you think."

"What if it's not going to be okay though? I-I... there's too much that could go wrong and we're barely staying for three days. Can we just turn around?" I don't even mean to ask to go home but I want to. I want to just curl up under some blankets and spend christmas the way I want to. Alone with Damon. That would beat visiting my parents any day.

"Graham. Everything will be fine. Just breathe and think about how we can make out in your bedroom when we get there or something okay?" He smirks and I try to hold back my smile as I roll my eyes. It's hardly a good reason to let go of all my fears and doubts, but he's just made me feel infinitely better.