Orders | Levi Ackerman

33• Left Behind

Authors note -

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR 2000 READS!!

I love you guys so so much, I'm so freaking happy omg! Thanks to all of you especially robloxandchika105  who never fails to vote and comment for my story! It mean so much so thanks for all the support !

Now on with the chapter ~

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" Levi.. please, I-I'm so sor-" i beg but he cuts me off " Stop crying cadet. it's pathetic and weak. " my face though covered in a wave of tears turns solemn and blank but behind my pained eyes hides anger and frustration.

Because he was right. It is pathetic. I reach up to my face and rub my still wet cheeks as I attempt to dry them. I steady myself and stand as tall as I can and take one deep breath.

Despite his words, I want to be weak and to cry to the point where I would feel numb because it feels as though only then would I feel okay but I can't. I can't because like always I have to be strong, I have to be me even if I don't know who ' me ' is.

I try to find the right response to levi, unable to decide whether I should reply like how the old
' I don't care ' Mia or the Mia who smiles at everyone would. I bite my lip as I contemplate my choices but I stop myself and look up at him, because maybe if my mind couldn't answer, my heart would.

"  I'm not weak. You said it yourself remember ? " I say, at this moment my heart is thumping and I can practically feel the adrenaline rushing over me.

Levi raises an eyebrow at me, and crosses his arms, waiting for me to say more.

" You said how you don't let weak people in your squad. " I know he knows what I'm talking about by the way he rolls his eyes at me but i take little care to it because I'm not giving up on him - on us.

" Things chang- " but I quickly cut him off " Hange told me why you asked me to join your squad, " I giggle at the memory " I always thought it was because you wanted someone to care for Eren but turns out you saw something in me - something that no else did, or ever has."

I walk closer to him , the dark nights sky engulfing the two of us. " you chose me because in the end I'd think with my head and not with my heart. " a warm smile spreads across my face at the blissful memories Levi and I shared.

" But how stupid I was to actually think you were right. " I laugh, by now Levi and I was staring right into each other eyes, our eyes mixing as his were the color of thunder and mine the rain - and together we were a storm.

" Because fuck what my mind is telling me because Levi, I'm utterly and whole heartedly in love with you and only you. " my voice cracks.

Levi opens his mouth to say something but closes it quickly, his eyes scan over me before he turns away.

I release a sigh out of defeat, and drop to my knees as my hearts sinks along with me. Again tears start to pour from my eyes.

" Levi- p-please! " I call out, grabbing on to his arm.

He tries to pull away, not even looking at me but my grip remains firm.

" Please dont leave. " I weep, as I succumb to my endless emotions.

" Leave me in the dark if you have too! " i cry, but though my emotional state, all i speak is the truth. All my life I have feared the dark and the nightmares that came with it but I know that I'd take being in the dark than losing Levi any day.

" But please.. don't leave me too. "

Levi stops, and stares at me, and as usual I'm unable to read him but his gaze is cold and somewhat ..soft? Perhaps it's the tears that leave me a little blind or the ringing in my ears from my incomprehensible wails but the sight in front of me is far more painful than any fight I've been in.

" Tsk. " he mutters before pulling away from my tight grip and leaving me alone in the dark.

And I completely fall apart. My heart breaks and I can feel the shards of my once lively heart hit the ground. The world seems so silent and empty as my greatest fear becomes my reality and while I try to keep myself together not only do I fall apart but as does my world right before my very eyes.

I can't even speak, not a sound nor a breath as my head blazes with devastation and pure loss.

The darkness i had feared so much has now infiltrated my mind as it feels strained and dense from the overwhelming pain I feel in what remains of my heart.

I slam my hands to ground and the power that i once felt when I split the tree flowed through once again as it exerts itself out my palms and through the ground obliterating the nearby trees and shrubs.

Blood starts to trickle down my nose and my head starts to throb from the power that I had just used but I don't care.

I yell and sob for what seems like hours on end and though the me only hours ago would of wished for the sun to rise, as of now I wish for everything but as the sun would reveal my pain unlike the dark that hid my sadness so well.

I want to scream, I want to scream until I can't feel anything anymore but I can't. It's as though the only things I can do is cry and wish the pain away.

Through the pain I want to laugh at how vulnerable I have become. The me only four months back would of raised an eyebrow at my current state before walking away completely uncaring but now..

I thought I had suffered enough but alas here I sit, dirt stained knees and puffy eyed desperately searching for a way out the darkness that I had been left in.

I unleash another set of sobs as I clutch my chest as though if I held it tight enough it would put all the pieces back together but my downfall is interrupted by a snap of stick.

" Mia? "