Orders | Levi Ackerman

37• Ending Happiness

" Mia, we're over. "

His voice rings in my ear, as I stare absentmindedly at Levi. It's like my world has just stopped. I don't see, hear, nor think anything.

I feel numb.

Before, when Levi left me alone, there was still that little hope that he'd forgive me but now..
I try to open my mouth to say something but realize soon that I'm utterly frozen.

My vision begins to blur, and I couldn't tell if it's from the tears welling in my eyes or the possibility that I may just be on the brink of fainting. I pray for the latter, because maybe, just maybe.. when I wake up it'll turn out to just of been a bad dream.

A girl can hope, right?

With the thick silence filling the air, I can't help but feel completely sick to my stomach. Not only am I in trouble with Commander Erwin, but now I've single handily lost two of my childhood friends, one of my best friends - as I'm already aware of how angry Hange must be, and Levi.

I feel a lump deepening in my throat, as feeling returns in my body and the numbness fades away. I manage to look up and find my eyes staring into Levi's but the light that always used to posses his eyes when he looked into mine has now been replaced by shadows.

" Please, tell me you're kidding. " I choke. His face remains emotionless as he stares mindlessly at me, I wait and pray for a response but after a clean minute, he gives no answer.

" Levi, please! " I call, stepping towards him. The tears that threatened to escape before has now began to spill from my eyes, and I'm unable to control them.

" I'm sorry! I swear! Please just give me another chance! " I sob, before Levi wouldn't even look at me but now, he seems unable to peel his eyes away.

I've been in fights and never have I lost one, and now here I stand, fighting for something I never though I would - love.

"Please, I beg of you. Say something. " my eyes, though full like lakes had an emptiness to it that I had only seen once before - the day my parents were killed, but the difference? This time I care.

" LEVI! " I yell, I feel small. Like no one can hear me, I begin to feel utterly overwhelmed like a mouse in a stable filled with rowdy Horses.

I try to calm myself down, and take a breath but I find myself unable too. It feels like there are bricks on my chest and not even I - Mia Solera can remove them.

I take one more look into his eyes, and instead of seeing the thunderstorm that I fell in love with all I see is... well, nothing. I see nothing.

My voice grows small, and comes out as a mere whisper " So does this mean I can die now? "
It comes out colder than I expect, so when I look into his eyes, I see a glimpse of shock.

" it's not like you'll care, right? " I ask, my eyes narrowing as I attempt to keep back the tears.
" you'll let me break your orders ? " i say, half heartedly. honestly I don't why I decide to say this, but I crave for a reaction from him - anything to show he cares.

I hear him let out a quick sigh - the first movement since he told me those heartbreaking words.

" Do what you want. " he says, and I completely lose it.

- Mikasa's POV -

" What happened? " I ask, Eren just stares at me dumbfounded.

" What do you mean? " he answers, and I can feel my blood boiling at his stupidity.

" You kissed Mia. " I reply, he looks taken back like he didn't expect me to know.. the idiot.

" I- i know. " Eren mutters, and perhaps I over analyze what he says but I can't help but hear the regret in his voice. " why'd you do it? " I question, trying to prove my theory in the making.

" Because I love her, Mikasa. " and though that had been my thought from the moment Jean rushed in my room explaining what happened, hearing it didn't hurt any less.

" I know. " I answer, deciding it be better to mourn later. " it doesn't make what you did right, though. " I scold, going to help him as he is still on the floor from when Mia made him fly into a tree.

" I had to let her know. " he tries to convince me of his reasoning but I completely dismiss him. " Eren, you just ruined her life. Don't you understand that? " I yell, shaking him lightly. Eren just stares at me, his deep eyes looking wider than ever.

" n-no, i didn't! " he tries to convince, but even he doesn't sound convinced.

" Eren, when will you stop being so selfish! " I hit his shoulder, and he falls back, releasing a slight moan from the pain. " Agh.. " he groans.

" Mia has literally been blank since the day I met her, Eren. I met her when she was fucking 9 years old. " I spit, Eren furrows his brows, the slightest.

" It's been 6 years, Eren. She's spent 6 years of her life fucking convinced that it wasn't worth caring for anyone because her own freaking PARENTS didn't care for her" he stares at me blankly but I see that he's listening.

" and only when she met Levi, did she start smiling - She was happy, for crying out loud! " I yell

" if she loved you, she would have the same reaction she has every fucking time someone even mentions that runt. " I continue, I notice his expression griming as realizations finally start to set in.

" Armin, me, even your mom would try to make her smile but nothing worked. God sake all it took was a look in his direction and she was smiling like a freaking 3 year old. " I continue yelling at Eren, who by now has shrunken back into the dirt, listening intently as sadness washes over his face.

" She loves him, and yes she loves us too but - " I start, fumbling over my words as my emotions begin to get the better of me.

" She would of never have cared as much about us as she does now if Levi never came along. He showed her how to love. " a small smile plants across my lips as I wish that one day, I'll have a love like that - with Eren.

" she might not know it, but she found herself, and gladly so since it's taken 7 freaking years for her to do so and it's all because of him. " Erens eyes glide down, and I hear him muttering some incomprehensible words.

" Why is it that you've known her since she was 2, yet you seem to care the least about her? " this perks Erens ears up, as a nasty scowl takes over his face. He begins to open his mouth but I swiftly put a finger to his lips.

" Mia's my sister. Always has been and always will be, so do yourself a favor and don't try to hurt again because I swear to god I'll kill you. " I threaten, Erens eyes fall again.

It's always been Eren that I've wanted to protect but I don't know what I'd do without Mia and the thought of her childhood friend being the reason for her misery makes me livid.

" I'm so stupid.. " Eren finally speaks. I nod, agreeing to him.

" what do I do, Mikasa? " he asks me, his beautiful eyes meeting mine. Perhaps it's the wrong time but damn, do I wish I could of kissed him like Mia did.

" I always fix your messes, it's your turn now. " Eren ponders on this for a bit, before falling back releasing a huff.

" I'm so sorry, Mi... " Eren whispers.